


O dia do caralho

by schnaf



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2019-09-06 11:10:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 26,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16831456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schnaf/pseuds/schnaf
Summary: Marc likes Rafa, Rafa likes Marc. Everything could be so easy – but it isn't. So Rafa decides to take Marc out to celebrate 'o dia do caralho' with him.





	1. à primeira vista

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is – my first English fanfiction!   
> When I was at school, English was my favorite (and best) subject whereas I sucked in German. I even read more English books at that time, I preferred English to German. Nevertheless, when I started writing fanfictions back then, I did it in German. It's quite simple – I only read German fanfics, I had my first account(s) on a German platform, so I picked German.  
> It stayed that way. For around 9 years. I always wanted to write something in English, especially when AO3 became popular and everyone read English fanfics, but... I was stuck with German. Each time I planned a new story, I already had some sentences in mind I wanted to use – and they were German.  
> Then I started thinking about the plot for a terfinha fic I had in mind for quite some time again. And suddenly I realized – hey, it's not German! It doesn't have a language yet, it's still just plot! So this fic became the first English fic – finally.  
> It was... difficult. I am so used to writing in German and THERE ARE SO MUCH MORE WORDS. (Also, I love long sentences with many commas and this doesn't work that well with English.)  
> Nevertheless, I finished it – nevertheless, I had fun with those two guys. I hope you enjoy it, too \o/

**à primeira vista**   
_at first sight_

Marc wasn't gay, absolutely not – totally straight, no homo.  
That was one of the reasons why he decided to go to Barcelona. None of that coziness, that domesticity that became so fatal in Gladbach. Just a bunch of superstars, nobody who could get too close to him, nobody who could tempt him.

Nevertheless, he was looking forward to meeting Neymar. Of course not only Neymar, he was also excited to meet Messi, Iniesta and so on, but he had rather professional reasons for that. After all, Messi, Iniesta and so on were the best players in the world.  
Neymar was excellent, too, no question, and Marc also looked forward to seeing him on the pitch, to seeing how he could treat a ball close-up. But with him, there was something more. A kind of curiosity caused by Neymar reminding him of Marco.

Actually meeting Neymar was kind of a dampener. Because he rally was like Marco – he had the same traits that made Marc appreciate Marco. He seemed like the person you would call when you wanted someone to laugh with, maybe even someone who was game for everything.  
But nothing more. Just like Marco.  
(Just like Marco now. Not what Marco used to be.)

However next to him was another guy. A fellow Brazilian, apparently. "Rafinha, or Rafa, if you're rather lazy", as Ney didn't fail to mention.  
Rafinha – "or Rafa, if you're rather lazy" – rolling his eyes but not intervening showed Marc that Neymar was indeed right, that those were the names he wanted to be addressed with and that probably everyone at Camp Nou was used to Ney's babbling.  
Warm, deep brown eyes, a gentle, soft voice, full lips, a smile that made Marc's knees go weak – but Rafa was no silent listener. He was laughing at Ney's words every now and then when he wasn't busy rolling his eyes at him or making a joke at his expense.  
In other words: Rafa was super attractive.

Fuck.

He still wasn't gay, though.

~*~*~

It was really difficult to resist Marc. He was... not exactly Rafa's type – until he met him, Rafa didn't know he was into tall German guys with fair hair. But meeting him had been quite an eye-opener. Seeing him glance at him every now and then while Neymar took his task of introducing Marc to Barcelona really serious, being able to eye him up because Neymar just took so fucking long... Yeah, he liked what he saw from almost the first moment on.  
This wasn't the reason why he decided to keep an eye on Marc. At least... Well, he didn't keep an eye on him because he had a little crush on him. It was rather like – he kept an eye on him for the same reason he had a crush on him.  
Marc looked so lost. Like a little puppy who was all on his own... He wasn't a puppy, he wasn't as helpless as he looked sometimes but he still had something about him that made Rafa want to protect him, to take care of him, to accompany his first steps in Spain.

He was really thankful – it was easy to help him. Even though his English was quite good – easily good enough to be able to communicate with everyone crossing his way -, Marc started learning Spanish as soon as possible. Even Catalan – it took him some time and he tried to avoid Catalan in the first few days because he didn't want to mix it up with Spanish but as soon as he felt more secure, he wanted to learn Catalan, too. He wanted to know everything about the club, the city, the country... And Rafa was willing to help.  
They became friends. It just happened – they spent so much time together and... Rafa didn't just help him. He didn't just tell Marc everything he wanted to know, he wasn't just a teacher. They had fun together, it was great to spend time together.

Nevertheless, there was this little crush. This little crush that became bigger and bigger because damn, Rafa was capable of many things but resisting Marc was not one of them.  
Marc was just so... So damn likable.

Actually, Rafa wasn't someone who tried to resist someone by any means. As soon as he picked up a signal, even if it was super small, he moved forward. But Marc sent... nothing. Not even a super small signal. They were really good friends, considering they hadn't known each other for a long time – but that was all. As soon as Rafa felt they were inching forward to something different, Marc withdrew.  
It was okay to be Marc's friend. Rafa wouldn't want to miss out on the fun they could have together. But...  
Damn, this would be way easier if Marc wasn't that lovable.

~*~*~


	2. desenrascanço

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that we met Rafa and Marc, we're going to take a closer look at them \o/

**desenrascanço**  
_a sudden solution for a tricky situation_

In retrospect, Rafa wouldn't be able to tell what made him act like that. Maybe it's Marc's light shirt that makes him look even more like the little sunshine he is, maybe Marc said something in the dressing room a few moments ago, just before they left, something that stuck with him?  
Rafa can't tell. As a matter of fact, it must be something subconscious because he isn't thinking anything right now. There's just the dull realization that he did something, that he moved up to Marc, that they are only inches apart.  
And then, he can't even think about that anymore because he places his hand on Marc's neck, pulls him down a bit, stretches a bit and kisses him.

It's a super short kiss, just a peck at his lips. But as soon as he retreats, the thoughts rush back into his brain.  
He just kissed Marc. Just like that. They were talking only a few moments ago, walking down the hallway towards the exit, towards the cars, laughing about the fact that there weren't many people left in the dressing room and that those people would still take some time to leave. They joked about being alone but Rafa could swear he didn't spend more thoughts on that.  
Rafa didn't plan to kiss Marc.

It was the right thing to do – not thinking about kissing Marc, that is. Now that he's so far away that he can see Marc's face, he sees his big eyes, sees the shock in his eyes.  
He knew it. When he was still able to think rationally, he knew that he couldn't just kiss Marc. Rafa knew he probably could never kiss Marc, neither as a surprise nor with a plan.

He takes a step back, tries to give Marc back his personal space. His heart beats fast, so fast, so fast – he has goosebumps on his arms, his skin prickles a bit and as if he didn't already have enough to worry about, he realizes that he liked kissing Marc, even though it lasted for just a few seconds.

"I'm sorry."

He actually is. Because – he had his reasons to restrain himself with Marc. Their friendship is at stake and it means way too much to him to risk it just for this little wish he still had.  
Marc doesn't react. He doesn't answer, he – he still only stares at him. And he moves forward, one, two, three little steps, almost a bit like a zombie because he doesn't look like he's realizing that his body is moving.

"Rafi..."

Rafi.  
Marc never called him that. Just like Ney told him to, he always called him Rafa, sometimes Rafinha, nothing else. It was okay, there was a reason for Ney to just mention those two names – Rafa would hate it if Ney called him Rafi.  
But hearing Marc say this nickname... It's okay. Way more than okay. It makes his stomach lift, it makes the hope float into his heart.  
At least for a few seconds – at least before he regains his composure.

It was a blooper, nothing Marc actually wanted to say. It just has to be. There doesn't have to be a deeper meaning, it could just have slipped him.  
But the way he looks at him... Fuck, this is too much for Rafa. He can't explain away everything coming from Marc.

It gets even more difficult as he feels Marc's hands on his face. Marc placed them gently on his cheeks and damn, he has a weak spot for goalkeepers. He always had – when he was a child he wanted to become a goalkeeper because their gear fascinated him so much and now... He just has to appreciate Marc's big warm hands. His surprisingly gentle thumbs that begin to stroke him.  
Then he lowers his head and...

Okay, this is kind of obvious now. This is – you don't just kiss someone who's supposed to be nothing more than a friend. Especially not that way.  
Marc's kiss doesn't last just a few seconds, Marc's kiss is more than a peck. He opens his mouth, Rafa can feel his tongue and it doesn't take long for the gentleness to fade into the background because – this is an eager kiss. Marc's grip tightens, he moves even closer, their bodies are pressed against each other now, no space left in between, he kisses him like he wants to get as much as possible during the short time they kiss.  
Short time? Yes – their kiss doesn't last forever. On the one hand, that's a pity, but on the other hand Rafa is quite glad about that when they move apart and the fog in his brain thins out. They're still in public, after all, and even though this was a breathtaking kiss, he doesn't want somebody to see them like that.

There's another reason why the kiss had to stop, he realizes after a few seconds. Exactly at the moment when he feels Marc's hands on his chest, when he feels they aren't there to feel him, to feel his heartbeat or something like that but to push him back. He takes a step back, he almost stumbles – Marc wants him to move away.

"I... I can't do that."

Marc's voice is hoarse, as if he had spent the last hour screaming. Rafa knows this voice, Marc sounds like that after more exhausting matches where he had to shout at the players in front of him more than usual.  
But at the training session, he was rather quiet. And just a few minutes ago, his voice sounded normal.  
It's not just his voice. His eyes dart around, he can't keep eye contact anymore. And even though it slowly fades away, there's a blush on his cheeks. Also the fact that he just kissed him...  
Yes, the first kiss was Rafa's fault. But he withdrew immediately, gave Marc the chance to run away. He didn't. Instead, he kissed him back. It was Marc's decision.

Just some time ago, he would have taken Marc's remark as a sign that they can't be together, either because Marc isn't into him or because he doesn't want to be into him. But now, his stubbornness shows.  
Damn, he really, really, really likes Marc. He came to terms with Marc just being a friend, but...  
Friends don't kiss. Friends don't kiss like that.

"It didn't look like you couldn't do it just a few seconds ago."

He can't let go now, he has to hold on. This is his one shot at convincing Marc of letting go of his doubts – obviously there are several doubts right now.  
No, it isn't. This isn't his shot.

He can literally see the color fading from Marc's face. It's not just the blush that disappears as Rafa thought before – his face becomes greyish, almost white. And even though he's a rather light type, this is way lighter than it should be. And he trembles – Rafa glances at his hands and notices that he's clutching them, but it doesn't stop the trembling.  
Something is wrong here. Marc's voice which suddenly sounds so weak is another indicator.

"I really... I really can't."

Marc is totally stubborn – but it's more than that. He panics.  
Fuck. Rafa wants more – he wants to be able to kiss Marc more often. But he can't ignore those signs. Just as he used to be really careful when he didn't receive any signs from Marc, now he has to react. And Marc obviously doesn't want them to get any closer.  
There are things that are more important than his desperate wish for some development in their relationship. Marc's well-being is one of them. And considering that he looks like he needs to throw up...  
He has to let go.

~*~*~


	3. quer sair comigo?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today, we'll finally learn what 'o dia do caralho' is about - and Marc, too \o/

**quer sair comigo?**   
_will you go out with me?_

Rafa feels pure relief when he receives Marc's message – even though it's rather short and lacks emojis.

'Mind meeting me at the beach?'

Of course he doesn't mind. Actually, his first impulse is to run down to the beach but luckily, he can resist. It's a bit too far away to just run there so he has to stay calm.  
After their kisses in the hallway, they wanted to... Yeah, they just wanted to act like nothing happened. But they couldn't. They couldn't talk as freely anymore, there was this awkwardness between them – still is. That's why they didn't meet up since then.  
Maybe it wasn't even because of the kiss – the silence between them was enough to give up on their regular get-togethers.

Now, they'll see each other again. Well, they did see each other after their kiss, after all, they're still part of the same team but this will be their first private encounter after the kiss.  
This isn't part of 'just act like nothing changed', Rafa is pretty sure about that. Otherwise, Marc would have picked different words. No, this isn't just a meet-up – it's the opportunity to talk about what happened.  
And if he's wrong – if Marc has other things in mind – Rafa will take charge of having this conversation. They need to talk. Otherwise, the awkwardness won't go away and Rafa really wants it to disappear so they can at least be friends like they used to be.

Yes, in the first moment, he was really euphoric. Well, at least motivated.  
But now that he's on his way to the beach – he didn't need any further explanation, he's pretty sure that Marc meant the spot next to his house where they used to meet every now and then – he feels doubts coming up. Or at least questions about Marc's motive – why Marc panicked after their kiss. He's about to get an answer directly from Marc, nevertheless he can't stop thinking about it.

What if he is a homophobe? Well, then he wouldn't have kissed him in the first place, would he?  
What if he has a boyfriend, maybe back home in Germany? Rafa wouldn't consider him to be the unfaithful type but you never know – also, Rafa took him by surprise. Maybe returning the kiss was some kind of intuition and when he realized what he was doing, he panicked?  
What if he simply isn't gay – what if he just hasn't kissed anyone for quite some time and longed for proximity? But he was so conflicted afterwards. It wasn't like he did something wrong – Rafa felt like he did something he couldn't exactly judge. Neither good nor bad...

He can't decide on one possibility until he reaches the beach. And of course he's right – at almost the same space as always, there's Marc. The blanket he's sitting on is the same one as always, Marc picked the same parasol as always. This time, it isn't a picnic – they used to have picnics on the beach at least once a week if the weather was fine -, there's no distraction.  
Just the two of them and the unsolved topic of their kiss.

“Hey.”

Marc lifts his head when Rafa arrives next to him. He blinks at him, probably because the sun is behind Rafa, and Rafa's stomach does a little jump. Damn, he looks so adorable.

“Hey.”

It looks like Marc considers getting up to greet him but just can't make up his mind. Well, no problem – Rafa drops next to him, then he leans over to hug him.  
A bit daring, yes. He doesn't know yet how Marc will act when meeting him in private. But apparently, this greeting – their familiar greeting – is okay. Marc returns the hug just like he always did, the hug rather hesitant, the pat on his back all the more forceful.   
Nevertheless, there's still a phase of awkward silence after they both sat down again.

Surprisingly, it's Marc who ends it. Rafa already racked his brains, trying to come up with something – yes, he thought about what Marc could say but he didn't imagine something he could say – but Marc is faster.  
It doesn't sound like he prepared what he wanted to say, though. Instead, he blurts it out.

"I had a boyfriend once."

Okay, that's... It doesn't tell him much yet. But he can exclude some of the theories he had before.  
Is Marc a homophobe? Improbable. Of course, there's the possibility that he really hated being together with his boyfriend and/or that his boyfriend treated him in a way that made him hate gay guys. But... Nah. That's too far-fetched.  
Did their kiss remind him of his boyfriend at home? No. He clearly used past tense.  
Is he straight? No. Maybe he's bi but he is (or was?) into guys.

Marc is into guys. That's good news, actually. But Rafa is too agitated to appreciate that.

“He used to be one of my best friends – he is, again, now.”

He looks at Rafa, their eyes meet. And apparently that's the sign Marc waited for. He lowers his voice even more – nobody pays attention to them but Rafa can relate, that's a rather sensitive topic.

“You probably know him – Marco Reus. Well, we became a couple and after a while, I wanted to tell my family that he was my boyfriend now. They already knew him, of course, so I thought it couldn't be that bad. I mean, they're my parents, they're supposed to love me no matter what and they always liked Marco even though... Well, if you meet him in private you could tell quite easily that he's gay.”

Rafa tenses. This is more in-depth than he expected... Sure, he appreciates Marc telling him everything about this sensitive topic but he didn't expect having to fight demons from former relationships and family problems.  
It's not like he wouldn't fight dragons for Marc – one look at Marc is enough to tell him he would probably jump down a bridge for Marc if it was necessary. But there's so much to fight – it may be too much. He isn't some kind of superhero after all.

“It didn't go well. They... They weren't angry or stuff, they didn't tell me they didn't want to see me anymore. But you could see how disappointed they were.”

Marc takes a deep breath and even though Rafa knows he should restrain himself until they make up, he reaches out to pat his back.  
Right decision. Marc smiles at him gratefully, it helps him to get back on track.

“Also... I am a football player. I couldn't be gay. Okay, for Marco it worked out somehow but... I wasn't like Marco. It didn't all fit. But I wanted to be the old Marc again – I wanted football, friends and family to be the most important things in my life again. I wanted the worries to disappear.”  
“So...”  
“We broke up, yeah.”

Just like that. Because being gay didn't fit in his life.  
Oh boy, this is going to be difficult.

Difficult? Not impossible? Indeed. Because Marc wouldn't be sitting next to him, Marc wouldn't be telling him those stories if there wasn't a spark of hope. And Rafa clings to it desperately.  
He can't let go. Not only because he has a crush on Marc – he wants him to feel good. And Marc can't feel good if he suppresses a part of himself.

“Marc, I thought you were a fighter. You fought to become a professional football player, you fought to become one of the best goalkeepers in Germany, you're still fighting to become our first goalkeeper. Why did you give up? Why did you let other people tell you how to live your life? Why -”  
“Rafa.”

Marc reaches out and grabs his wrist. Admittedly quite an effective way to keep him from rambling.

“It's not that easy.”

Rafa wants to protest, wants to add that it may not exactly be easy but that it's worth the fight.  
He can't. Marc is faster.

“It's... more difficult than just saying 'you have to fight'. You know, I... I really liked Marco, I still do. But I think it wasn't the right decision to get into a relationship with him. Not because he's a guy – at least, that wasn't the only reason. We are great friends but we weren't supposed to be in a relationship. He is...”

Marc leans back until his back touches his blanket. He covers his eyes with his arm as if he wants to block the sun but his distressed voice tells Rafa it could also be due to feeling embarrassed.

“I don't want to be like Marco. Like, I don't want to be with Marco but I also don't want to be like him. He's... like, one of those cliché gays and that's okay, he's happy that way but I don't want to be like that. Also, he was... I wasn't his first boyfriend and also not his last boyfriend – I knew that even back then. He treated me like there were many awesome guys he could be with and I was by chance the one he picked for the moment. Of course, he wasn't always like that – there was a reason why I fell in love with him after all. But I felt uncomfortable in our relationship. And the problems with my parents and with being a gay footballer didn't exactly help. In fact, they were the reason why I didn't try harder to make it work anyway.”

Rafa lies down next to Marc. For a few moments, there's silence. At least on their blanket – the other people on the beach continue their shenanigans.

“Did you make out with a guy after your relationship with Marco?”  
“No. I -”

Marc laughs but it's a forced laugh. He doesn't think it's funny, not at all.

“I lived a straight life. I... I still do.”

Until now, Marc sounded like he regretted what he'd done. But now, he's back to being stubborn again. He's straight – he has to be straight, so he simply is straight.

“But... Okay, I understand, it's difficult. But you don't have to be a rebel. You could just keep it a secret that you're into men.”

Marc flinches. Wow, he didn't even use the word 'gay'. And Rafa is pretty sure that he didn't flinch because he was scared someone could hear him. It's the fact itself that bothers him.

“Don't you want to know how it feels to say 'I love you' – and mean it?”

That's a bold question. After all, Marc could be bisexual, simply neglecting the part about being into men.  
However, Marc doesn't object. It would be really easy for him to say he could also tell a woman he'd love her and so on but... It wouldn't be the truth. And even though Marc suppresses his identity all the time, he just can't lie right now.

Marc rolls over, he turns his back to Rafa and it feels like someone threw a bucket of ice at him.  
He crossed a line. He insulted Marc. Maybe because he pressed too much, maybe because he exaggerated Marc's problems. Who knows, maybe he's happy with his life? Maybe he doesn't need someone to tell him to change something?  
No. Rafa's gut instinct tells him that Marc is troubled.

Marc doesn't look at the family some feet away playing volleyball for too long. After a while he gets up and Rafa dreads that he's just going to pick up his parasol, his blanket, his stuff, that he's going to disappear. But he just sits up, hugs his knees and looks at the ocean.  
Rafa gets up, too, and moves a little closer. Maybe Marc doesn't want more proximity – Rafa guesses he's quite happy to be able to talk about stuff like that in a more private situation, though.

"I'm scared, Rafa. I'm scared that everything will change if..."

He's still here. He didn't run away – instead, it was Marc who suggested this meeting, who also wanted to talk about what happened. Well, he didn't talk about the kiss per se but he doesn't need to anymore.  
This is his big chance. It's also a big risk – Marc is so vulnerable right now, either Rafa does the right thing or he'll hurt him.

Rafa takes a deep breath. He feels so helpless, he doesn't know what to do.  
Well, he does. There's one little idea but he just doesn't dare to... But it's the only thing left to do. It's maybe a bit crazy, however it might be the right thing to do. He rejected the idea when he came up with it back home but now – what else should he do? Either, he stammers some words of condolence that sound like he doesn't mean it or he tries out this one little crazy idea.

"You know, there's a holiday in Brazil. It's called... 'Dia do caralho'."

Oh god, hopefully Marc didn't hear him hesitate. And if he did, he hopefully blamed it on having to switch languages mid-sentence.  
He did it, though. He said it. Now, there's no way back.

"It's a special day in Brazil. You can do whatever you want – what you've always wanted to do. As long as it's legal, of course – it's rather harmless stuff. Kids don't wear their school uniforms, they pick their favorite clothes or costumes. Some people go to restaurants with their friends and stuff their stomachs even though they're on a diet, other people go to a store and buy something they've wanted to have for a long time..."

There's a little smile on Marc's face now. During Rafa's explanation, he didn't look away, he listened carefully and now there's this smile... Rafa doesn't know whether it's because he likes the idea of this holiday or because it distracts him – probably it's both.  
And that's great, actually. It makes his heart feel lighter at once.

"It's next Saturday, but we have a match that day. However, we aren't in Brazil anyways."  
"Also, there's the time difference and it changes everything anyway."

The smile got bigger, Marc even lifted his head. And apart from all his worries, it's a relief to see Marc like that again. He had to get his story off his chest, it was difficult for him, but hopefully, he feels better now.  
Also, he understands. Maybe not everything yet but he realizes that Rafa wants to celebrate this holiday.  
Now, Rafa has to tell him that he wants him to celebrate it, too.

"Let's spend the day together. Just the two of us, just what we want to do. No expectations – it doesn't matter what you're supposed to do.”

There, he said it. Just like that.  
Now that the words are out in the open, Rafa feels his heart beating fast, feels like throwing up. Marc's next words are so crucial – now he'll know if he messed it all up or...  
Luckily, Marc doesn't keep him in suspense for long.

“Okay.”

~*~*~


	4. eu quero beijar você

**eu quero beijar você**   
_I want to kiss you_

Marc dressed up.  
Okay, he's dressed rather casually, it's not like he picked a suit. But he wears a nice T-shirt that fits perfectly and looks good on him – he seems like he didn't just grab anything, like he picked something consciously. Sure, Rafa chose something even more relaxed, he wears a light tank top, however, he also spent some time in front of the wardrobe.  
He looks so good, you could take him to some special occasion. Not exactly to a banquet or something like that, but...  
(To introduce him to Rafa's parents?)

Doesn't matter. Their occasion is special enough.

Rafa picked Marc up at his home. He invited Marc, after all. So he browsed several pages, looking for the perfect spot for their time together – they agreed on meeting after training so they could spend the rest of the day and the following night together. (Marc sounded a bit nervous when they talked about that and Rafa definitively felt nervous, however, he really likes the prospect. Turns it into something more serious somehow, into something more than just a few stolen hours.)  
Hopefully, he found it. It's a nice vacation home in Sitges, almost an hour away from Barcelona.

Surprisingly, they both feel quite comfortable. Okay, when he arrived at Marc's place, when they put his backpack in the trunk, he looked like he considered returning to his house, canceling their trip. Yet, after some quiet moments in the car, he relaxed. And slowly, they actually began to act around each other as they used to – like the friends they used to be. Marc picked some songs, they joke around, gossip about their teammates...  
It's a really chill atmosphere – and a little bit more. Because Rafa really likes to turn his head to look at Marc, to enjoy the smile on his face, his squinted eyes when he laughs, his thoughtful look when they're quiet for some minutes, busy watching the streets they're passing through.

They never had such a long trip in the car together. Yes, they are used to sitting next to each other in a car but normally – if they weren't stuck in a traffic jam – they would arrive at their destination after a rather short time. However, this trip is really enjoyable, too – even more so because Rafa loves spending time with Marc.  
It feels like the 'Dia do caralho' is supposed to feel like. They're leaving the city behind them, the houses next to the road become less, they pass tunnels, hills, views on the ocean... It's something different than the roads they travel each day. And they're going on that journey together.  
It's tangible, somehow. The farther away they are from home, the less they talk about their club, the more they're talking about themselves. And after a while, Marc just puts his hand on Rafa's leg.

It stays there for a while, just lies on his leg and Rafa can feel its warmth. Normally, this could have felt really uncomfortable because it's quite warm both outside and in the car – they decided to go without the air conditioning and rolled down their windows instead – but... Instead it sends a shiver down Rafa's spine.  
Then, after a few moments, Marc begins to stroke him. First, he only moves his hand downwards, towards his knee, back to the spot where he started, down again... But slowly, his hand moves more upwards.  
Rafa's mouth turns dry. He would love to grab a bottle and take a sip, however, there's too much going on. The traffic, Marc's hand... He couldn't add another thing to focus on. This is... Marc took another step. This little gesture shows both of them that this is not just a trip for two friends.

Rafa is still careful, he doesn't want to get his hopes too high. Nevertheless, he just can't deny that Marc's actions prove that they will get closer the next few hours, closer than they used to be, closer than is appropriate for friends.  
Marc doesn't want to spend the 'Dia do caralho' with a friend to have a fun time. He actually wants to...  
Damn, Rafa tried to suppress every single thought about Marc and him kissing, Marc and him touching, feeling each other... It feels strange to accept that some of those thoughts are going to become reality in the next few hours – if Marc doesn't chicken out. (At least at the moment, he doesn't seem like chickening out, though.)

This little gesture makes the trip even more special. It feels so... couple-like, somehow. Because it's just them, because Marc's hand on his leg feels like it belongs there...  
Nevertheless, he has to intervene. Just a quick remark.

“If you continue like that, it won't turn out well.”

He shoots a glance at Marc and damn, he isn't even shocked. There's a smirk on his lips, not a single sign of being overwhelmed.  
It's not what Rafa was expecting. He thought the mention of sex would scare him off, at least a bit.  
No reason to complain, though. He likes that side of Marc. Even if it makes his knees weak and that's not exactly useful when driving a car.

“Ah, okay?”

His skin prickles. Marc is flirting with him, kind of. He doesn't withdraw his hand, instead, he raises his eyebrows mockingly.

“Yes. If you want to have a safe ride...”

Rafa doesn't finish his sentence, he doesn't mention that he can continue like that when they arrive at their place. Marc understands anyway, hopefully.  
He does. Even though he moves his hand further downwards again, he doesn't let go. He left the dangerous zone and yep, that's a great place for his hand. Especially when his thumb starts stroking Rafa's thigh.

Their trip doesn't take much longer. Shortly afterwards, the voice of his GPS tells him to take the exit, it leads them along smaller streets up the hill and Rafa is quite grateful now for Marc's consideration because he needs to focus fully on the road.  
Luckily, his GPS is reliable today. Without any detours, they arrive at a driveway that looks just like the pictures Rafa checked online.  
This is their place, their 'home' for today and tonight.

They don't get up at once. After Rafa turned off the engine, he remains seated and...  
He can't tell who started. But they're leaning towards each other, leaning over the gear shift, moving even closer – Rafa can already feel Marc's breath on his face.  
With only a few inches between their faces, they stop. Rafa closes his eyes intuitively, he places his hand on Marc's which still rests on his thigh.

Marc used some perfume. He doesn't keep track of Marc's perfumes like a stalker, he doesn't know every single perfume Marc ever used but they share a dressing room almost every day so he takes note of things like his perfume, especially because he has a crush on him.  
Rafa doesn't know this perfume. Also, it's a tad more than Marc usually applies. Not too much and it smells really good, however, Rafa can't help noticing the extra effort.

They don't kiss.

After a while, Rafa realizes that Marc withdraws a bit. His smell moves away from him, he doesn't feel Marc's breath on his skin as strong as before. So Rafa opens his eyes, just to see that Marc still looks at him.  
Kind of longing, somehow. Like he regrets withdrawing.  
He's right, though. Even though Rafa would love to kiss Marc right now, his car may not be the right place.

“Let's go inside.”

Inside. That's like... That's where their 'Dia do caralho' actually begins. Of course, the trip was nice and it already felt different but well, just like they realized shortly before – they can't do whatever they want inside the car so it's not what the 'Dia do caralho' is supposed to be like.  
Marc doesn't react at once. They keep looking at each other, then he nods slightly. Probably he also has in mind that this is a bigger step now.

Just one short trip to the trunk to pick up their backpacks, then Rafa unlocks the front door of the house and steps in. Marc follows on his heels.

Even though it's high noon, it's rather chilly inside the house. The stone walls seem to absorb the heat from outside. They are standing in a corridor with several doors – the kitchen and the living room are supposed to be here and if Rafa remembers correctly, the bedroom and a bathroom are up the stairs at the end of the corridor. It's quite spacious for a holiday home for two but well, it contains everything they need, hopefully.  
He turns to Marc, wants to propose a little tour around the house so they can take a look at the rooms, maybe even at the garden – there's a pool out there – but... He can't. Marc looks at him and now his hand darts to his hair, trying to fix it. Of course, there's nothing to fix, just as always, every single strand of hair is where it's supposed to be, however this gesture reveals that Marc is nervous.  
Not in a bad way, at least that's what Rafa hopes for. It's rather...

Rafa guesses that Marc would like to continue where they left off. Just like he would like to.

He takes a step forward. His message is clear – he wants to approach Marc. But he doesn't block his way, Marc could just take a step aside to avoid him.  
He doesn't, though. First, he doesn't move at all, he just bites his lip – it's a tiny little gesture and as soon as he realizes what he's doing, he stops. Then, he also moves forward. No reluctance, no timidity. He even reaches out to put his hands on Rafa's shoulders.  
Did he already mention he had a soft spot for Marc's big hands?

Okay, that's enough. Marc was so open on their trip, he now didn't hesitate to approach him... Yes, Rafa wants to be considerate of Marc's feeling but it's time to stop being careful.  
He places one hand on Marc's hip, the other on his neck. Their eyes meet and...  
It's okay.

Rafa stretches a little bit, he's pretty sure Marc comes his way, too. Then his lips touch Marc's.  
Finally again.


	5. eu amo seu sorriso

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's strange to upload summer stories when there's snow outside... :D But well, a little sunshine doesn't hurt!

**eu amo seu sorriso**  
_I love your smile_

This time, they don't stop suddenly. The kiss takes long enough for them to get comfortable – Marc pulls Rafa towards him, Rafa leans against him, intensifies the kiss.  
It feels really, really good. He likes feeling Marc's body, he likes feeling his lips, his tongue, his breath – he likes kissing him. Not only because their kiss per se feels good.  
He feels like he held his breath since they first kissed, like he tensed up since then. And now, he finally gets to relax. Damn, he missed kissing him so much... It was hard to resist Marc before their kiss, after it was almost impossible. Because he knew what the thing he desired felt like, because he fell in love with this feeling – and because in his rather pessimistic moments, he thought he'd never have the possibility to kiss Marc again.

He does now. And it doesn't take long until his thoughts drift away, leaving behind a pleasant emptiness. It's not important to think about what happened – it's important to enjoy the kiss.  
And he does. Marc, too – every now and then, Rafa can hear him, can feel him hum, he hugs Rafa even tighter.  
Now, Rafa doesn't worry about controlling himself anymore. He just does whatever feels good.

Marc's hands return to his shoulders. However, Rafa can't focus on their size right now because Marc has something different in mind. He pushes down the straps of his backpack, Rafa understands and lets it slip on the ground. As soon as it touches the ground, he takes advantage of the little break – he couldn't keep the kiss up but that's no problem as Marc doesn't look like he'd deny him the continuation – and helps Marc get rid of his backpack, too. Marc's a bit more careful though, he doesn't just let it slip down – he takes it off and places it against the wall.  
After that, they can focus on themselves again. Rafa eyes Marc up briefly – he can only do it for some seconds, though. Then, Marc takes a step forward, places his hand on Rafa's cheek, lifting his head up.  
He just can't keep himself from kissing Marc again.

Only after a while, he realizes what just happened. Marc pushing back the straps of his backpack... It somehow reminds him of getting undressed. But it was only a backpack, no garment. Getting rid of their luggage is okay but undressing each other is something else – something Marc might not be ready for yet. And that's why he continues stroking Marc's back but without putting his hands on Marc's skin under his clothes.  
It's actually Marc who does that first. Suddenly, Rafa can feels his fingertips on his back – they made their way underneath Rafa's top without him even noticing.  
He inhales deeply.

Damn, is Marc smiling? They continue kissing but he felt Marc's mouth moving just as if he just grinned. He could tell that Rafa reacted to his touch and it pleases him, in a mean kind of way.  
Oh, just wait...  
Actually, it isn't the thought of revenge that makes him take another step. Its the desire to get even closer to Marc, to feel him even more, combined with the fact that Marc seems quite relaxed at the moment – that Marc might be ready for the next step.

Rafa lets his hands slide down Marc's body rather slowly – nevertheless it's obvious where he's heading to. Marc grabs his neck – the other hand keeps stroking his back and he really appreciates that -, the kiss gets a bit hungrier, more desiring, as Rafa's fingertips dance on Marc's chest, there might be a hint of a moan as they cross his nipples.  
Onward, yet. Until his fingers touch the hem of Marc's T-shirt – until he pushes the fabric up so he can put his hands on Marc's naked stomach.  
Now it's Marc who hisses.

God, he likes the sounds Marc makes. He likes his little hums that accompany their kiss more often now, he likes his moan even though he has the impression Marc restrains himself, that Marc doesn't want him to hear, he likes the hiss...  
And he loves that he's able to hear those sounds. That Marc decided to come here with him, to kiss him.  
Now his hands move upwards again, underneath Marc's T-shirt. It doesn't take long until Marc interrupts their kiss – not to stop him, his head leans against Rafa's, Rafa can hear his heavy breathing.

Damn, this is so hot. All caution aside – he can't help but getting turned on. He's a simple man with simple needs and Marc fulfills some of them already – more to come.  
Okay, no need to keep them in suspense. Even though he really likes teasing Marc like that. He can't move his hands further upwards anyway because of Marc's shirt so they need to make another step.  
Rafa pulls out his hands from under Marc's shirt again. One of his hands finds its way to Marc's cheek – he lets it lie there, strokes his face gently with his thumb as he focuses simply on the kiss for a few moments.

It's really pleasant to kiss Marc. Like, it didn't take them long to feel comfortable with each other, to find out what to do and what to drop. Now their mouths move naturally against each other while their hands explore each other's body. Sometimes, they're still a bit diffident but that's okay, after all, it's their first real kisses so it's quite understandable they still have to get to know each other when it comes to touching each other, kissing each other and it works out quite well.

Okay. On to something new again.

Rafa's hand which rested casually on Marc's stomach slips downwards. He doesn't advance slowly anymore – he simply places his hand on Marc's crotch.  
Oh. So he's not the only one who got turned on. He clearly feels Marc's erection even though the fabric of his trousers is rather thick. And he feels how Marc moves forward a tiny little bit, how his dick presses against his hand.

Then it's all over. Marc withdraws – not only does he move his crotch away from Rafa's hand, he also interrupts their kiss.  
As soon as Rafa realizes what just happened, he also takes a step back. He went too far.

Okay, Marc is still here. But that's not that special – where would he go? Of course he could have run outside, however, he's stuck here. And he didn't even flee back in Barcelona, after their first kisses, when he had a car available. Apparently, he's just too reasonable for something like that. He can't just leave without saying anything.  
Now, it's Rafa who says something first.

“I'm sorry.”

He really is. Marc showed him often enough that he's really insecure, he kept it in mind all the time and nevertheless he just dropped all of his restrictions. He didn't want to scare Marc, damn.  
Marc's cheeks are flushed and as his fingers rake through his hair, Rafa realizes that it's necessary now – at least a little bit more than before. His hair is lightly ruffled, some streaks fall on his forehead and if he hadn't just backed out, Rafa would reach out to push them back.

“No. I am sorry. I... I don't want to be problematic all the time.”

Rafa didn't expect that, actually. Marc blames himself? Damn, he doesn't have to – it's okay for him to withdraw if everything becomes overwhelming.  
They still want the same thing – Rafa can't name it yet, though. They want to get it on, somehow, in a way that's okay for both of them.  
Well, he isn't picky. It's up to Marc and his needs how they proceed. Now, Rafa just needs to explain it to him.

“Relax. We... We'll just say 'stop' if something happens we don't like. We don't worry anymore – neither of us. No need to say 'sorry' anymore, at least for today.”

Rafa included himself in particular. Hopefully, Marc got the hint – hopefully Marc realized Rafa doesn't see his behavior as problematic. It could have been Rafa as well who hesitated.  
Apparently, Marc understands. He looks a bit less stressed now, his smile is a bit crooked but it's there. The corners of his mouth lift upwards unmistakably.

“Ah, 'Dia do cabalho', eh? Okay, let's do it.”

He mixed up one letter but still, the mention of Rafa's holiday makes his stomach lift, makes him return the smile. Yes, the 'Dia do caralho'. The day where they are allowed to do whatever feels good. The definition still seems to help Marc.  
At home he contemplated setting up some rules for their 'Dia do caralho', he couldn't decide on them, though. It's better that way, however. It's more fitting if their rules arise from a situation.

“Good. Then... Let's take a look at the house.”  
“Okay.”

Marc picks up his backpack, Rafa follows his example. Then, they take a look at the first rooms.  
It's a bit like after their first kiss – it's almost equally awkward. At least, they talk to each other now, at least they're spending some time together now.

The first room they look at is the kitchen. It's quite a cozy place thanks to the dark brown wood and stone walls everywhere. The table in one corner would be big enough for a bigger party but apart from that... If he (they?) moved to a place like that, he wouldn't change a lot about that kitchen.  
Marc seems to approve, too. His expression is more relaxed now, his eyes dart around the room. It's the same in the next room – that's the living room.  
There, they finally manage to say something.

“Nice place.”

Yeah, Marc is right. But Rafa spotted something here, too.

“I would have picked another couch.”

Surprisingly, Marc doesn't frown. Instead, he agrees immediately.

“Yes, me too. A bigger couch. Well, it looks comfy, though.”

Just what he thought... Rafa can't keep himself from patting Marc on the back.  
It's okay for him, apparently. He just smiles at Rafa – also, Rafa is quite sure he'll stick to the rule he just made up. If he didn't like it, he'd stop him.  
Then, there's something more important. Marc turns away from him again, he steps into the room to inspect the shelf with the TV.

“There's no console here. Did you bring one?”

As Marc turns around to face him, putting his hands on his cheeks and looking shocked, Rafa laughs. Yes, that's why he wanted to spend the day with Marc – that's why he puts up so much effort to be with him.  
He simply likes him. A lot.

“No. I knew I forgot something at home.”  
“I didn't bring one either. I thought they had some console at a place like this.”

Even though he didn't exactly know which place Rafa picked? He continues the banter, though.

“Oh my, it's gonna get really boring soon.”  
“Yep. But we didn't take too long to get here – maybe you could drive back home to pick up your PlayStation?”  
“I'd do anything for you.”

Right now, that's one hundred percent kidding. He'd do a lot of things for Marc, indeed, but this isn't what he wants to tell him now.  
Marc seems to figure it out, somehow. He smiles at him broadly – after seeing him so intimidated just before, it's great to see this, to be able to kid around with him.

Marc doesn't comment on his statement. He just raises an eyebrow, then he laughs and this laughter releases the tension.  
It's fun, somehow. Teasing each other a bit, flirting a bit and then going back to their easy-going interaction...

Apparently, Marc is done with his inspection for now. He turns away from the TV shelf, walks over to Rafa. Actually, he wanted to propose taking a look outside – there's a glass door in the living room leading to the terrace. But again, Marc was quicker than him – he walks away from the terrace right now.  
Considering that this means he walks towards him now, it's no problem, though.

Right in front of him, Marc stops. He places his hand on Rafa's hips and it just seems so natural, so normal – Rafa's heart fills with warmth.

“Let's go on.”

Maybe their tour won't take that long after all. Maybe it'd be the best to look for the bedroom first.  
Marc is the prototype for 'mixed signals'. Just a few moments ago, he almost pushed Rafa away, now he's the one who's looking for physical contact...  
Okay, alright, he isn't – he communicated from the first second on what's going on, he told him about what's holding him back. Because of this alone, he comprehends why Marc behaves that way.

Okay, the bedroom isn't a bad idea anyway. At least they can get rid of their backpacks there so they can get comfortable as soon as possible – whatever 'getting comfortable' looks like.

They leave the living room, ignore the other doors on this floor – one leads to a tiny basement which they won't need, another one to another small room with a washing machine, if he remembers correctly. Nothing worth checking out – maybe later when they're bored. After all, they don't have a console with them.  
Instead, they walk up the stairs which is an excellent opportunity for Marc to ask him something.

“Have you been at this place before?”  
“No, I found it on the internet.”

Apart from the fact that he doesn't own a vacation home, it's quite useful that neither of them knows this house. It fits their perception of the 'Dia do caralho' – it's something new, something different.

“Ah. Good choice, though.”  
“I hope so.”

After all, they didn't check the rooms upstairs yet. Sure, Marc is right, the rooms on the first floor looked really comfortable, also everything seems to be clean and so on but what will it look like upstairs?  
When they arrive at the end of the stairs, Rafa sees that one door is cracked open. There's something that looks like a bed – seems to be the bedroom then. Okay, he'll check the other rooms first – they won't take too much time there.  
Indeed, there's not much to see in the other rooms – apart from one little detail in the bathroom. Again, Marc steps into the room to inspect something close-up.

“Is this a whirlpool?”

Another detail that convinced him to rent this house. Sitting in the bathtub, popping some champagne isn't exactly Rafa's hobby but he likes the idea of relaxing in a whirlpool – especially if it includes Marc. He doesn't know yet if there will be enough time to try it out but if they like to, they can do it.

“Yeah, it is.”

Marc turns over to him and now, he clearly looks impressed.  
It makes Rafa's stomach lift again. When he planned this trip, he thought about making it as pleasant as possible for Marc and considering his look, he's quite successful.

Okay. No need to get sentimental – instead, Rafa decides to take a look at the last room. Marc follows him, of course.  
(Strolling through the rooms with Marc is actually quite nice. It doesn't feel like Marc follows him like a puppy, always scared to lose him if he doesn't stay close to him – they're just hanging out. They're that close because they decided to be.)  
Again, it looks like in the pictures that made Rafa choose this house. A big bed in the middle of the room with some pillows and a colorful blanket on it, some unobtrusive furniture and a large French Window leading on the balcony.

Rafa places his backpack on a little cupboard next to the door, then he pulls out his phone and walks over to a box in a shelf. This is supposed to be the stereo equipment he read about in the description... It is. He turns it on, then tries to connect his phone to it. Not as easy as he imagined – after some tries, he picks up the user manual lying next to the box.  
Marc doesn't wait for him – he examines the room in the meantime. Rafa can hear his steps behind him. Then, as Rafa browses the tiny booklet, he opens the balcony door and steps outside.  
Shortly after, Rafa hears him exclaim.

“Are you kidding me? We have a pool?”

He can't stop the smile that spreads on his face. Marc's voice was so incredulous...  
It's not like he can't afford a house with pool – and Marc knows this, after all, they play at the same club. Nevertheless, it's really easy to surprise him.  
He wanted this day to be awesome. And even though Marc's presence is a pretty decent foundation, Rafa wanted to pick a house where you love to stay.

There's another thing about Marc's exclamation. He said 'we'.  
Well, of course it's reasonable to use 'we'. They just sorted out that this wasn't Rafa's house, that they both stay here for the same amount of time. 'There is a pool' is maybe a tad too neutral...  
Yes, 'we' fits best. And Rafa really likes this fact.

“Yep. The sea is a bit too far away.”

Now, Marc laughs. The diffidence disappeared, he clearly enjoys himself at the moment.

“Speaking of the sea... Did you check out the view? You can see the ocean from here.”

Another reason why he picked the house. It's located at the side of a hill, facing the sea. Hopefully, it's quiet here – and the view is superb, at least according to the pictures on the homepage and according to Marc.

“Also, the pool seems to be an Infinity Pool. I love this place.”


	6. mais do que amigos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas time - time for a new chapter! Merry holidays to all of you! ♥

**mais do que amigos**  
_more than friends_

Okay, Marc is quite euphoric. That makes up for this little machine in front of Rafa that still doesn't work – at least a little bit. He did everything that the manual said but it's not the right thing, apparently.  
Because Rafa Is focusing on the stereo equipment, he doesn't notice that Marc leaves the balcony. Only as Marc steps behind him and wraps his arms around him, he realizes that Marc has stopped his observation.

“What are you up to?”

Marc's soft voice, the warmth of his body and feeling his strong arms almost makes Rafa forget what he was doing here. Especially when he feels Marc's erection against his butt, just for a short moment before Marc realizes it, too, and moves his hips back really quick. Damn, he saw the bulge before – he didn't want to stare at Marc's crotch but he couldn't avoid it. Feeling it proves even more that Marc still has the hots for him. You could easily forget your surroundings because of that.  
But this damn box is still in front of him, reminding him of his failure.

“This is some kind of audio equipment. I wanted to connect my phone to it but Bluetooth doesn't work.”  
“Mh. Did you try it with a cable?”

Rafa groans. Even though he planned to play some music here, he didn't bring a cable with him – he just assumed Bluetooth would work.  
It's really annoying. At home – when he became too nervous when thinking about their trip – he prepared a playlist, mostly calm songs that would be the perfect background music. It wouldn't be quiet but they could still talk...  
If this thing worked.

“I don't have one here.”  
“Well, why didn't you ask me?”

Marc steps back, he walks over to his backpack he placed next to Rafa's. He rummages in it a bit, then he pulls out a cable he hands over to Rafa like he was a hunter and he just managed to catch some really big game.  
Rafa isn't able to make fun of him. Partly, because he has to check if the cable fits his phone and if it's the solution, partly, because Marc returns to his place behind Rafa, puts his arms around him again and places a gentle kiss behind his ear.  
His stomach prickles and he has to take a deep breath before he's able to plug in the phone.

Finally. It only takes a few touches until there's music. Soft guitar sounds, just as he planned – nothing distracting but nice to listen to.

“We did it.”

Rafa turns around – Marc loosens his embrace but doesn't let go of him. There's a little smile on Marc's face, he looks proud. Normally, Rafa would make fun of him – after all, he didn't help that much. But now, he has to admit that he couldn't have done it without Marc's help. Also, it's not the right time to make fun of Marc. He prefers his smile at the moment, even though he always liked a little banter.  
Not now.

Now, he wraps his arms around Marc, too. He leans his head against his shoulder, closes his eyes for a moment. Again, he smells his perfume but even the rather generous amount of perfume can't hide Marc's faint personal smell. Marc's hands start stroking his back again, up and down, up and down, until one hand slips further up, up to his neck. Now, his thumb massages his neck and if Rafa were a cat, he'd purr by now.  
Apparently, he's a bit more comfortable so far. There's no sign of hesitation even though Rafa is really close at the moment.

After a while, Rafa moves away from Marc. Just a little bit, just that much that he can look at Marc's face. And Marc gets the silent question, the silent 'is it okay if...?'. He leans forward, pulls Rafa closer and – looks like his answer is 'yes', like his answer is 'yes, it's totally okay'. Because he doesn't withdraw again, because he kisses him instead, he kisses him really gently.  
Maybe he should be careful, maybe he should be wary. By now, he should have learned that it doesn't mean anything if Marc seems relaxed, seems to be okay with kissing him. After all, he broke up every single kiss between them – well, apart from the first one but it was so short that he couldn't react.  
It's highly probable that Marc will do it again. But...

It's okay. It's a risk Rafa is willing to take. Because he loves kissing Marc, because he enjoys every single second – and because he doesn't feel hurt when Marc withdraws. Especially not now, after he got to know Marc's reasons – after he got to know that Marc may be hesitating but that, deep inside, he really wants to be with him even though he's a man.

Well, maybe it still feels strange when Marc stops kissing him. Rafa can't help but noticing how he stretches a bit and although Marc is only a little bit taller than him, a bit of stretching is sufficient that he can't reach his lips anymore. For all that Rafa tries to stretch, too, they stay out of his reach and thus, their kiss slowly dissolves.  
Marc's body feels stiff – it was a conscious decision to stretch. Did he try to get away from him?

But then, Rafa looks up and sees that he has big difficulties hiding his smile.  
He isn't chickening out. Rafa doesn't know yet what he's up to, he isn't panicking, though.  
Luckily, Marc lets him know pretty soon what's going on.

“Do I have to bend down so you can still reach me, mh?”

Oh. He really isn't panicking – he feels so relaxed, he can easily joke around again. This little...  
Of course, Rafa just can't be angry with him. He prefers relaxed Marc over stressed out Marc, obviously – also, kidding around with him makes his skin tickle.

“Fuck off.”

Marc opens his mouth, he wants to answer, that's for sure, but Rafa doesn't let him. He seizes him in the neck and pulls him down – the element of surprise is on his side, Marc can't stiff up.  
It seems like that's no problem with Marc. He looks at him, expectant, not indignant at all. Well, he apparently expects Rafa to pick up the kiss now that he can reach his lips again.  
But Rafa only leans his forehead against Marc's. If Marc wants to tease him, he has to let Rafa tease him back.

He waits. He doesn't kiss Marc, he just waits. And against all odds, Marc doesn't move forward either. They just look at each other, smile at each other, Marc places his hands on his hips and for a short moment, Rafa feels like he's going to dance with him.  
Well, per se, that would be totally okay. He enjoys dancing and a slow dance with Marc sounds tempting.  
Not now, though. Now he simply wants to kiss Marc – okay, first, he wants to keep him in suspense but then, he wants to kiss him.

It's Marc who breaks the silence.

“You're still small, though.”

Rafa doesn't exactly know if this is still part of their banter. Content related? Yes. But his voice sounds so soft, so loving...  
No, he can't keep the banter up. He contents himself with a light punch against Marc's shoulder – Marc flinches and that's totally sufficient – then he places his hand on Marc's back again.  
Time to kiss.

This time, it isn't Marc who interrupts their kiss. After a while, Rafa withdraws a bit – only a tiny little bit, their lips are still almost touching.

“I prefer you that way.”

Is it necessary to explain what he means? Does he need to tell Marc how much he enjoys seeing him so relaxed?  
No, it isn't. Marc smiles, he pats his back. Then he clears his throat.

“Me, too.”

Sure – it must feel more comfortable that way. But it also proves that he really is relaxed. So it's actually safe to kiss him – it's actually what Marc wants right now, too.

They take up the kiss again – both at the same time, somehow, at least Rafa couldn't tell who started the kiss again.  
This time, he doesn't just focus on Marc's mouth. After some moments, his lips move to the corner of Marc's mouth, then onward to his cheek, onward to his ear – he stops shortly before, continuing on the soft skin beneath his ear. Tasting Marc like this, hearing his heavy breathing... He gets goosebumps.

As Marc raises his voice, it sounds a little bit raspy, a little bit breathless.

“Now you can continue where you stopped before.”

It takes a moment until Rafa understands what he means. Admittedly, he was quite busy – he wasn't busy thinking, though.  
'Where you stopped before'. 'Continue'. The last time Marc told him to stop and they didn't continue shortly after until now.  
He's talking about their first kiss in this house. When Rafa became a bit too daring...

Rafa smiles. He's torn between making fun of Marc and being excited – and he can't decide because his body tells him that he feels both, somehow.  
He feels like he had a bit too much champagne. Like his stomach is full of bubbles and his head is super light.

“Mind laying down?”

Even though he'd like to, he just can't continue where they stopped before. It was a completely different situation back then and that's not bad at all because he likes the comfort of having a bed next to them. It's a bit cozier than standing next to the door, after all.

Marc smiles, he nods lightly. Then his smile becomes a bit broader, a bit... Oh no. A bit more obnoxious.

“So you can finally reach me?”

Is he serious? It was him who suggested that they could take another step – and now he's making fun of him? Again?  
Rafa actually is a bit outraged. Somehow in a positive kind of way, though – it somehow delights him. Marc's behavior is surprising, but it's good to see they can still joke around – that things don't turn serious as soon as they reapproach the topic of having sex.  
He likes it better that way. Especially because he thinks it would discourage Marc if they had to be serious all of a sudden.

This doesn't mean he lets Marc get away with insulting him, though.

“You're not that tall anyway.”  
“Yeah?”

Of course, Marc stretches again. He may even be tiptoeing.  
Rafa grabs his shoulders, tries to push him down a bit.

“Yeah. Next to Gerard, you look rather small.”

Their goalkeepers aren't as tall as you'd expect them to be – apart from Marc, sadly. Luckily, Gerard is the tallest player in the team and it's a fact that next to him, Marc looks a bit small. On the other hand, it's making it more obvious how tall he is because nobody looks that tall next to Gerard.

“Not as small as you, though. Tiny, little Rafa.”

Okay, wow, that's just – he's had enough. They can't discuss that topic because Marc doesn't accept him being right, so... Time for different tactics.  
Rafa pushes him back. It's not only because Marc deserves it – the bed is right behind him.

Of course, Marc doesn't surrender yet. He makes a step back – Rafa caught him by surprise – but that isn't enough yet. And now, it's not as easy anymore. As Rafa tries to shove him back another bit, he feels that Marc tenses – only his muscles though, his grin becomes broader. He clearly enjoys that situation.  
Rafa does, too, somehow.

Marc doesn't just resist. He fights back. Now, he grabs Rafa's arms, tries to push them away. Thus, they start wrestling. It's pretty balanced so there's not a lot going on. They just move a tiny little bit forward, backward, forward again, Marc can't loosen Rafa's grip on his shoulders, Rafa can't get rid of Marc's hand...  
Then Marc changes his tactics. Now, his goal isn't anymore to be steady – now he wants to throw Rafa on the mattress instead. A short jolt and Rafa stumbles towards the bed – in the last second, he reacts, turning around and grabbing Marc so he won't fall.  
Their fight doesn't take much longer. Now that they both follow the same purpose, they slump on the bed within a few moments.

Lying in a bed with Marc isn't like Rafa expected – also not like Marc expected (dreaded?), probably. They lie next to each other, still gripping each other, giggling, a bit breathless... Not quite as sexual or romantic as he presumed.  
It's nice, though. He likes giggly Marc, he likes looking at him, seeing the joy in his eyes, seeing that his cheeks turned pink because of the effort of wrestling him down – they really vibe with each other in this exact moment, they're in their own little bubble and it almost feels like there's no need to talk anymore because they know what they're thinking, they're sharing the same thoughts.  
Slowly, their giggling dies away. It leaves behind a smile on Marc's face, a somewhat content smile. He seems to feel really comfortable, really complacent right now.

Okay, now that he caught his breath, now that they calmed down a bit...  
Rafa moves a bit closer – Marc obviously approves because he loosens his grip and puts his arm around him instead. His other arm is stuck between them for the moment and it isn't exactly comfortable, nevertheless Rafa leans forward to kiss him again.  
This kiss is rather calm. Their mouths, their tongues move slowly, Marc gently strokes his back... It helps calming down even more, it's a sign that their little battle is over. They're on the same page again.

Rafa makes use of a short moment when they take a break in order to breathe.

"Let's move up."

With his head, he points towards the pillows – they're still at the same spot where they slumped on the bed and it's starting to get uncomfortable.  
This time, Marc doesn't try to make fun of him. He nods, there's a little smile on his lips, then he actually moves a bit until they both can rest their heads on the pillows.  
They're really cozy – soft, but not too soft. Yeah, he likes the house more and more with every part he discovers.


	7. você tira meu auto controle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo this is the last update this year - see you on the other side! ♥

**você tira meu auto controle**   
_you take my self control_

Their next kiss is quite calm, too. First, they're busy getting comfortable – it takes a while until they find a way to wrap their arms around each other. Then it doesn't take long until Marc interrupts once more.

"You're a good kisser."

Okay, that's quite a surprise. It's not like Rafa thinks of himself as a bad kisser but Marc speaking in high terms of his abilities... He didn't expect that.  
Is he mocking him? They made fun of each other just a few moments ago.  
No, he isn't, Rafa can sense this. He's absolutely serious.

So Marc really likes kissing him.

"Thanks."

Well, this realization isn't a big surprise per se. After all, Marc could back off if he didn't like what they were doing. Also, he can feel his bulge right now because they're hugging so tightly. It's still there and it wouldn't be there if he was a horrible kisser.  
Nevertheless, the compliment flatters him.

Another kiss. Marc didn't wait until Rafa came up with a compliment for him, too. Instead, he pulls him even closer.  
Maybe it's not necessary to compliment him. Rafa feels like he swoons over Marc every time he looks at him and Marc surely would have realized that. On the other hand – it's just like with Marc's compliment. Even though it may be obvious, it still pleases him.  
Whatever. Marc doesn't seem as if he needs praise right now. Later, though... It's not like Rafa had to rack his brain to find something noteworthy about Marc. And he appreciates that they can talk freely to each other – that he can voice his feelings towards Marc.  
Later, though.

Okay, there's another thing they could talk about. For a few moments, Rafa simply enjoys the kiss but then something comes to his mind. It's because their kiss doesn't remain that calm – they both become more longing, their kiss becomes more passionate and their bodies move against each other. Slowly, still, but it becomes more and more obvious where they are heading.

Should he draw Marc's attention to the fact that it's not about sex? But... At the moment, it is. It's what they both want. (Even though Marc still is a bit unsure every now and then.) And by now, Marc should have realized that he didn't invite him here just to have sex. After all, he didn't go to great effort to find the perfect house just because it's nicer to fuck with a view but rather because he wants to have a nice time with Marc – a nice time which may include sex but whose main purpose isn't sex.

It's time to mute his thoughts. When Rafa still thought he had an unrequited crush on Marc, he wouldn't even have dared to wish for a situation like this, after they first kissed, he dreaded he had ruined everything between them – but still, he's here. Sharing a bed with Marc, kissing Marc, hugging Marc, feeling his erection, realizing that Marc didn't back down even when it became obvious that they are both aroused and that they both know it.  
He simply has to enjoy it. For himself, for his former self.

Actually, that's quite easy – apart from the doubts that still pester him. Being with Marc is so easy, so natural in a way. Rafa doesn't have to think about what to do next, he just reacts – it's an aligned interaction between them, somehow.

His fingers slip under Marc's T-shirt. His skin is so warm compared to the chilly sheets they're lying on... Also, he's so pale, Rafa realizes as he parts from Marc to pull up his shirt. Even though he tanned a bit – after all, he doesn't live in Germany anymore but in sunny Spain -, he's still pale-ish. Not in an unhealthy way, thanks to the hours they spent on the beach, but especially his cheeks are rosy rather than tanned.  
He's so beautiful.

Marc doesn't stop him. Even when Rafa pulls his shirt over his head and throws it on the floor, he shows no sign of indignation. He watches him, moves a bit when it's necessary and as Rafa's fingertips touch his chest, he closes his eyes. On his face, there's this faint smile again and Rafa's heart makes a little leap.  
Damn, it's impossible to resist him. So Rafa doesn't even try to put up resistance as Marc reaches out, puts his hand in his neck – well, Marc's hands are one of his weaknesses so this gesture isn't exactly helpful – and pulls him down for another kiss.  
Now, they're over the careful part – finally. Rafa simply can't exercise restraint anymore and Marc... Well, Marc neither, apparently. Their kiss is fierce, way less controlled than before.

And then Rafa feels Marc's fingers shoving up his top.

He doesn't stop kissing him, though. Marc continues until there's nothing left to do – until he pulled up his top so far that he can pull it over his head, too. That's worth a break, for sure – especially because Marc takes up the kiss again directly afterwards. Rafa doesn't even know if he managed to drop his top – maybe he still holds it.  
Yes, indeed he can feel a piece of fabric as Marc starts stroking his back. It takes a few minutes until he lets go of it.  
There are more important things to do than placing their clothes tidily on a cupboard.

Marc's restraint... It may still be there. But it becomes smaller with every little step they take – it becomes smaller with every second.

He needs to... He wants... More. More, please.  
Rafa's hands run over Marc's chest, over his belly – can he actually dare to continue? Is it okay or will this be the final straw? Like, “you went too far once too often”?

It's so difficult. Marc doesn't seem as if Rafa's hands – and them being so close to his crotch, aiming at his crotch – are bothering him. Quite the contrary – he keeps on kissing him even though it would be really simple to bite him in the lip to stop him from running his hands further down.

Step by step. No doubts, no false caution. He decides to go for a compromise.  
For some moments, he lets his hands rest on Marc's naked belly, just above his trousers. His fingers stroke him a bit, he concentrates on feeling Marc – and on their still ongoing kiss.  
His skin is super soft at this spot. Rafa can't decide if he shaved well or if he doesn't grow hair there. Both versions are likely – on the one hand, Marc always takes care of his hair meticulously and if his top hair has to be on point all the time it's quite probable he doesn't like his hair growing at rather random places. On the other hand, his hair is so fair – it's possible he doesn't grow a lot of body hair.

Rafa likes it that way. It's not like he'd push Marc away if he was hairier but... It fits him, somehow.

Okay, Marc still stays calm. Well, depending on how you define 'calm'... The way he kisses Rafa, grabbing his neck, his shoulders – his hands are restless – isn't exactly what you'd call calm. But he seems to feel comfortable, even with Rafa's hands approaching possibly problematic regions.  
Time to move forward. In several ways – Rafa backs out of the kiss first. He needs to focus on...  
Then, his hands run further down until he touches Marc's bulge. There are still two pieces of fabric between his hands and Marc's dick – he doesn't dare to shove his hand into Marc's pants – but...

Marc inhales sharply, his hip twitches a bit.

Rafa's skin tingles. On the one hand, he would love to let go once for all, throwing himself at Marc without further ado. But on the other hand, he enjoys this situation a lot. Inching forward, tempting both him and Marc, keeping up the suspense.  
Just a tiny bit of composure and he can continue teasing Marc. Just a tiny little bit...

He starts massaging Marc's bulge lazily with one hand – he places the other one on Marc's back. And...  
No need to worry, at least not right now. Marc's eyes are closed, he hums every now and then and Rafa is pretty sure he moves his erection closer to his hand to feel as much friction as possible. And after he got a bit used to this treatment, he shifts forward a bit, placing his hand at the back of Rafa's neck once more, starting to kiss his cheeks, his neck erratically.

Damn, he's so hot for Marc.

Fumbling around the button and zipper of Marc's trousers happens almost automatically. He can't wait anymore, he wants Marc to be naked, he wants to feel his naked skin, he -  
Marc's warm fingers touch his hand, for a short moment, Rafa expects him to entwine their fingers – he would like that –, expects him to pull away Rafa's hand – he wouldn't like that. Of course, he'd accept it, he still cares about the way Marc feels a lot but -  
No need to worry. Marc doesn't try to stop him – quite the contrary. He helps him opening his jeans. And as Rafa's hand darts forward, touching the piece of skin that became now visible, the piece of skin above Marc's pants, he moans softly.

Okay, now he needs a little break, he can't just keep going. This is...  
Marc doesn't hesitate, though. Suddenly his hands appear next to Rafa's crotch, they touch his bulge briefly – so quickly it seems kind of accidental -, then he takes care of his trousers, too. The sound of the zipper being pulled down makes his stomach tickle.  
It's so promising. They're both getting naked and considering that it's Marc who moves forward now...  
They're both ready, apparently.

Unlike Rafa, Marc doesn't stop at that point. As soon as he opened Rafa's trousers, he pulls them down – underpants included.  
Either Marc really wants to move on so that he can't doubt his own courage or -  
Doesn't matter. Not now that Marc undressed him.

Marc isn't as confident as this action makes him look, though. He tugs at the fabrics hastily and apparently, he tries to avoid looking at what he just unpacked. Instead, he tries to get rid of Rafa's clothes as soon as possible and when he drops his trousers next to the bed, he returns to his place at Rafa's side, wraps his arms around him and hides his face at his shoulder.  
Yep, he definitely is surprised by his own courage – just like Rafa.

No problem. Even though his first intuition is to undress Marc, too, Rafa can easily downshift for him, can calm him down. Well, at least he hopes so – but it shouldn't be that difficult because after all, Marc still didn't leave the bed yet.  
He starts by stroking Marc's back. Really slowly – after a while, he takes a break at his shoulder blades where his thumb starts massaging him.  
Marc's breath becomes a little calmer. Not the panicked short breath he had before anymore – now his breath is deeper.

Deeper. He still doesn't sound relaxed, at least not in a way that would make him assume he could fall asleep every second. No, the tension is still there, but it's the positive kind of tension – sexual tension, in a way.  
It's okay.

After a while, Rafa withdraws. He gets up on his knees – it's easier that way, he believes.  
Easier to undress Marc, that is. Of course, Marc just demonstrated that you don't need that distance, that it's also possible to undress someone while hugging him, while kissing him. But Marc has really skillful fingers. Also, it's kind of... more official? He doesn't undress him accidentally then and even though he didn't mind Marc doing it that way, Rafa prefers to get up.

This time, Marc doesn't avoid glancing at his crotch. His eyes dart towards Rafa's dick. He looks partly curious, partly embarrassed – he blushes again.  
Oh Marc...

It's a bit awkward, admittedly. So Rafa doesn't waste too much time. Since they've already opened Marc's trousers before, there's not much left to do – just pulling the remaining fabrics down. Marc is pretty cooperative, he wriggles whenever it's necessary, lifts his hips to make things easier for Rafa...  
When he drops those last pieces of clothing on the floor, he understands how Marc felt just a few seconds ago. Now that Marc lies naked in front of him, it's impossible not to stare at his erection. On the other hand, he senses how his face turns warmer. It feels strange – he feels the need to avert his gaze.  
It's a bit childish, maybe. Because after all, they're going to do more than just look at each other – and exactly those body parts that make things so uncomfortable right now are going to be pretty important.

Time to stop thinking. Especially if his brain is only able to offer nonsense at the moment.

He leans over Marc, considering what to do next. Marc doesn't leave it up to him to choose, though. Suddenly, there's his hand, back again at Rafa's neck, pulling him down, Marc comes his way, too, then their lips touch again for a brief moment before they both open their mouths and their tongues meet.  
God, his tummy... He feels like he swallowed some tiny little fireworks. And it's not only in his tummy, it's in his veins, too, leading to his dick. If they don't...

No need to think about what could happen if they don't move forward soon. Marc places his other hand on his back and for a short moment it just stays there, covering quite a bit of Rafa's back directly above his butt. Then, he puts pressure on his back, thus pulling him down.  
He has no other choice but to slump on Marc. And as soon as their crotches, their erections touch and none of them can hold back a moan, he realizes it's completely okay for both of them. More than just okay, in fact.

Marc spreads his legs a bit, Rafa slips in between them. Immediately, he senses Marc clutch his hip with his legs, pulling Rafa still closer towards him.

If he still had some self-control left a few seconds ago, that's gone by now. He simply doesn't want to think anymore, to control himself. Instead, he has the urge to touch Marc, to feel him, to -  
His hips begin to move almost on their own account. Forward, backward, just a few centimeters each while they're still busy kissing – it's an uncontrolled kiss by now, they just... They just kiss. Sometimes Marc's lips trail off to Rafa's cheek, to Rafa's neck, then their lips meet again, hungry, avid, yearning for each other. His movements add something, though – a short break every now and then when Marc moans or when Rafa needs to catch his breath.  
Damn, it drives him crazy – in a good way, in an absolutely positive way. And by all appearance, it's the same for Marc. Finally, he lets go, finally Rafa can't detect a single sign of repulsion or even hesitation anymore.

Thus, he's quite surprised as Marc murmurs something.  
Again? Sure, he still just can't be angry at Marc, not even now, but stopping now would be such a waste. It feels so good, he just wants to go on.  
Marc repeats what he just said. This time, Rafa gets it.

“Wait.”

Okay. Even though Marc's breathless murmur arouses him even more, he waits. He doesn't pull away – obviously Marc is okay with them being so close – but he lifts his head. This way, he can look at Marc, at his red cheeks, at his ruffled hair – at Marc trying to catch his breath, trying to leave behind what they just did so he can think – or express himself? - clearly.  
Then he seems to have reached a point where he trusts in his voice again. He's right – this time, his voice is more than just a gasp.

“I really don't want to interrupt here.”


	8. adoro o cheiro da sua pele

**adoro o cheiro da sua pele**   
_I adore the smell of your skin_

'Interrupt'. Not 'stop'. Marc doesn't want to stop.  
Yeah, he actually feels kind of relieved. The last few times, it was quite simple to keep going after Marc let him know things were becoming too much for him, but this time? They're both naked, they're both aroused – they went too far this time. How should they have gone on?  
Luckily, Rafa doesn't have to find a solution. Not this time.

Now, Marc hesitates. Even taking another deep breath doesn't help, apparently.  
Okay, now that he feels relieved, it's time to make Marc feel the same. If he still hesitates, he needs to show him that it's okay to say whatever he has in mind – whatever made him interrupt even if he didn't want to.

“But?”

He reaches out, strokes Rafa's cheek gently. It helps immediately – Marc smiles at him.

“But I need to tell you something before we go on. When I was in a relationship with Marco, I – yes, I know, it's a no-go to talk about your ex when you're with... Well, when you're on some kind of date. And I guess it's even more of a no-go when you're already in bed and so on. But you know that the only relationship with a man I had was with Marco so if I just talked about my relationship with another man, you'd still know it was him so -”

Oh wow. He's babbling. Rafa didn't actually expect Marc to be that kind of guy who starts babbling when he gets nervous – or aroused – or both.  
It's cute, though. It makes Rafa smile, it makes him feel like he just swallowed a spoon of warm honey.  
Time to calm Marc down again. He stops stroking him and places his index finger on his lips instead. Immediately, Marc stops talking – Rafa can't tell if it's because of the gesture or because he instinctively puckers his lips to place a little kiss on his finger.

Well, that's just as cute as the babbling before. And it becomes even cuter when Marc realizes what he just did and he doesn't feel overly embarrassed – when he laughs.  
Mission accomplished. Rafa takes his finger away.

“It's okay.”

Another deep breath, the smile fades away – at least, it's not as obvious anymore. You can still see the smile in Marc's eyes, in the way his face softened.

“Okay. So... I was in a relationship with Marco for... like, two weeks. And yeah, we did have sex but I... I never bottomed.”

Wow, he didn't expect him to be that straightforward. He thought Marc wouldn't be able to pronounce his thoughts this clearly – he also thought Marc would be tiptoeing around topics like that.  
It's really pleasant that he doesn't. Rafa feels better if they can talk about things that bother them.

“Do you want to?”  
“Yes. And I trust you. You took care of me from the first day and... You're... You're just you. I trust you. But it's my first time and I wanted to let you know just in case I act stupid.”

So this means... Marc wants to have sex with him.  
Again, it's a bit obvious. But... Only a tiny little bit. After all the fuss Marc made before, it wouldn't have been too much of a surprise if he told Rafa he just couldn't do it.  
It makes his heart beat faster. Knowing that they will actually have sex, Marc's compliments... Marc feels safe with him. Damn, if he didn't already have a soft spot for Marc, these words would have been enough to make him fall head over heels for him.

There's another thing Rafa noticed, though.

Marc thinks too much. Yeah, sure, he gets why, but...  
Rafa worried so much before – he still does, in a way. But being so close to Marc, kissing him, touching him, hearing him moan made his head go silent. He was way too busy to keep worrying that much.  
Apparently, Marc can continue worrying nevertheless.

It's not necessary, though. It's not like he still has to convince Rafa that he's a cool dude – that he's hot. To be honest, it didn't take him much to make Rafa think that way. Also...

“Well, usually when you bottom, there's not much to do.”

He doesn't want to make fun of Marc, doesn't want to ridicule his worries. On the other hand, he got to know Marc quite well. And he feels that it wouldn't help much at the moment if he tried to calm him down with reasonable arguments. No, he has to make him laugh – has to make him roll his eyes at himself.  
That's exactly what Marc does right now. Okay, he also adds a punch at his shoulder but the smile on his face tells Rafa that he was right. Marc already knows he's worrying too much – but as long as he worries about not being perfect enough, everything is alright. Rafa can show him easily he's just right the way he is.

“I know. But still...”

Yeah, there's no need trying to reason with him. He knows the facts, he just doesn't feel convinced yet.

“I'll tell you if you fuck up.”  
“Okay. Me, too.”

Finally. Apparently, Marc finally let go of this worry.  
Okay, then... Now that they're already taking a break and now that he knows they're going to have sex, he can get up to fetch the lube.  
The seconds he needs to find it in his backpack feel way too long. Especially when he turns his head and sees Marc lying on the bed, watching him, his head resting on his arm, his dick still hard.

It looks like Marc is more relaxed than Rafa would have expected in such a situation. Even though he's naked, even though Rafa looks at him as he walks over to him, he smiles, he doesn't try to hide anything.  
He even manages to tease him again.

“Did you plan this?”

For one moment, he actually looks innocent – he actually looks like he's serious. But then, he can't hide his grin anymore.  
Damn joker. As if he can't imagine that Rafa racked his brain in order to make their stay as pleasurable as possible – of course including everything they need for sex. God, he even considered bringing his own blanket and pillows just in case they didn't have any at the house.  
Rafa drops the lube on the mattress as he crawls on the bed. And as soon as his hands aren't occupied anymore, he starts pushing Marc back on his back. He's still grinning, of course, the sparks still fly.

“Well, someone has to be prepared.”

Marc doesn't reply. At least not verbally – he raises one eyebrow. Well, he isn't exactly good at it, the other eyebrow moves, too, but Rafa sees what it's supposed to be.  
He also gets the message. Did Marc actually pack some lube, too? He really isn't as innocent as he tends to look – and he isn't just here to see what Rafa planned. Apparently, he had his own ideas, too.  
But Rafa should keep in mind what Marc just told him. The story with his ex, Marco, the fact that he feels a bit insecure because he never bottomed.

Rafa bends over Marc, he stops when there are only a few inches left between their faces. Damn, he's longing for another kiss – Marc, too, he lifts his torso a bit but he still can't reach him. Well, first, they need to talk again. This time, it's also because he likes kidding around with Marc so much.

“Admit it: You only told me that you never bottomed because you wanted to make me nervous.”

Marc gets what he's up to.

“Mh. Did it work?”  
“Of course.”

Okay, time to be honest. Especially because Marc was so honest just a few minutes ago.

“Well, I was nervous before. I didn't want to mess up before, neither.”

Surprisingly, Marc doesn't take advantage of this sign of weakness. Okay, on the other hand, it's not that surprising because – yes, they do like to make fun of each other but they also realize when jokes would be inappropriate.

“You didn't.”

God, he's so cute. And just like he caused his tenseness before, he manages to make him feel confident now.  
Doesn't keep him from fishing for compliments, though.

“Yet.”

Marc only laughs. Obviously, his attempt at making Marc compliment him a bit more was a tad too plump.

“Shut up.”

He doesn't add the 'and kiss me again' – at least not verbally. But his hand in Rafa's neck, pulling him down, means the same. Okay, in this case, he's able to live without further compliments. Instead, he lowers himself on Marc until their naked bodies touch again.  
Yes, Marc is content. He places his other hand on his butt, pulling him even closer, before he lifts his head, coming up to meet Rafa's lips halfway.  
They don't keep up the kiss for long, though. After some moments, Rafa withdraws.  
If they'd keep going like that, it'd be over before they even started and as they just clarified they wanted to have sex... Of course, they still have enough time, they're here for the rest of the day, after all, but still – he wants to have sex with Marc now.

He shifts backwards until he's able to kneel between Marc's leg. Marc props up his upper body so he can keep looking at him and somehow the eye contact makes him feel more nervous and more confident at the same time. It proves the connection between them is still there but on the other hand he feels watched.  
Well, there are more important things right now. For example Marc lying in front of him naked. And... His dick. Just a few centimeters away from his...

Rafa reaches for Marc's erection, his fingers clasp his dick just like that.  
Yet another step. Sure, he already felt Marc's cock before but now, he touches it properly for the first time.

His hand starts sliding up and down slowly, he watches Marc closely. He doesn't have to wait a long time – soon, Marc closes his eyes. And when Rafa strokes the tip of his penis, he bites his lip – nevertheless, a hum escapes from him and Rafa is pretty sure it sounds content.  
God, he looks so good when he lets go. Well, he always looks good but those moments add to his attractiveness.

Okay. Onward. Again, if he keeps on stroking Marc's dick, they – especially Marc this time – may finish way too early.  
Now, it's time for...  
They're going to have sex now.

His mind tells him to stress out about this. After all, it's not only a new experience for Marc – Rafa has to deliver. If he messes up... He wants to win over Marc, he wants their sex to be so good that Marc is longing for more and his head tells him to be nervous because of it.  
His heart doesn't, though. He doesn't feel nervous. Somehow, be believes in fate – somehow, he believes, this will be fate. If they fit, it they're supposed to be together in whatever way, everything's going to turn out alright. If it doesn't... Rafa doesn't want to consider this possibility.

There's no right and wrong. Neither of them has a checklist with things the other one needs to fulfill – they're both still exploring what they like, how they feel good together. And damn, he already feels good with Marc. Just looking at him is sufficient to make his heart beat faster, to lift the corners of his mouth.

Thus he feels instead of thinking. He lets his intuition take over. Placing his hands on the inside of Marc's tights, shoving his legs apart – Marc moves willingly – happens almost automatically. Next, he leans over to grab the lube.  
Their eyes meet, neither looks away for several moments. Rafa feels his chest moving rapidly, he notices the blush on Marc's cheeks again but his main focus is on Marc's eyes.

Then, Marc nods slightly. It's a tiny movement, almost indistinguishable, but Rafa kind of waited for that sign so he doesn't miss it.  
It's okay to go on. Marc is ready.

Now that he got the final clearance, Rafa's brain switches to autopilot completely. For a while, life simply consists of the basic things.  
Marc's breath. Marc's scent. Marc's whisper – “It's okay.”. This deep feeling of being connected to Marc, both mentally and physically. Marc grasping his shoulders, Marc moaning, Marc's spaced-out expression.  
Somehow it feels like they take forever and just a few seconds at the same time. The latter not in an embarrassing way, though. Time passed so fast... And at the same time, it felt like eternity.


	9. impertinente e agradável

**impertinente e agradável**   
_naughty and nice_

Afterwards, they lie next to each other. There's some space between them – just like they both need to spread their limbs after being so close shortly before. But they don't avoid each other. Rafa fondles Marc's neck, Marc's hand rests on Rafa's chest...  
Rafa is almost napping. Every now and then, he really has to struggle to keep his eyes open – he manages to do so because he just can't stop looking at Marc. They keep eye contact without saying anything – sometimes, Marc smiles and Rafa simply has to return the smile.

Maybe he should do something. Make use of the little time they have together. At least that's what his brain tells him. But he ignores his babbling thoughts.  
He's deeply contented right now.

Then, Marc's hand slides down his chest, crossing his arm downwards to Rafa's vacant hand until he can entwine their fingers.  
Rafa smiles again. In fact, he feels like his smile just won't go away, like it will linger on his face for quite some time.  
It's such an innocent gesture, especially compared to what they did just before...

He likes being innocent with Marc.  
He likes being naughty with Marc.  
He likes being with Marc.

And apparently, Marc is quite content with being here with him, too.

After a while, Marc clears his throat. Again, Rafa's brain tells him to worry – what is Marc going to say? Will he say something that could hurt him? – but again, he just can't listen. It's way too cozy right now.  
Besides, Marc still smiles. He doesn't look like he needs to say something that will ruin the mood.

“What can you do here?”

Ah, he's getting jittery. Understandable – even though Rafa really enjoys lying here with Marc, he knows he doesn't want to spend the whole day like that.  
Luckily, he didn't pick this place only because of the awesome bed.

“Well, you already saw the sea. There are several beaches here. Also the village we went through on our way here... We could walk around there. There are also some nice cafés...”

He takes a close look at Marc who's waiting for further details. Okay, he seems to be ready for a small revelation.

“The village... Sitges. It's kind of a gay destination. There are some gay beaches, they even have a Pride celebration here.”

Marc reacts the same way he expected – he hoped for. First, his eyes widen in shock, then he starts laughing.

“Is this the reason why you decided to go here?”  
“Of course. I thought we could invite over some guys we meet in the village. No, it wasn't. I just looked for a nice region with vacation homes – I found out about the 'gay destination' afterwards.”

It's true. Actually, after he read about it he thinks he remembered hearing about this gay-friendly village close to Barcelona but he isn't quite sure.

"So we could visit the gay beach?”

This is rather surprising. Marc is really chill right now – he's so chill he can propose something like that. Well, Rafa is certain that Marc doesn't actually mean it. But just in case he isn't kidding...

“I'd love that. But... Well. Two footballers at a gay beach. It's too risky.”

Yes, he'd like to hang out with Marc at a place where they could do whatever they want. But even visiting a gay beach could be suspicious. Also, who knows if the people there are trustworthy?  
No, if they want to kiss, if they want to make out, they need to stay at this place. Maybe not even inside – the next few houses are quite a bit away and it's not possible to take a peek at the garden. But that's it.

“But what about visiting the village? Isn't it suspicious, too?”  
“Because it's a 'gay destination'?”  
“No. Well, not only because of that. After all, straight tourists come here, too, I suppose. But if somebody sees us together...”

Marc's smile fades away, he's getting worried again. Well, at least he doesn't try to push Rafa away – at least, this time it's about being able to be close to Rafa. This makes things way easier.

“I don't think anything would happen. After all, everybody supposes we're buddies.”

A plausible explanation, at least in his eyes. Marc hesitates for a moment but then his expression relaxes.

“How can you be so chill about this?”

About somebody thinking they are boyfriends? Well, maybe because he'd love to be Marc's boyfriend. It's not like he thinks Marc wouldn't like that just because he worries more about possible spectators but it makes him a bit more reckless.  
Yes, that's what Marc meant.

“I mean, I still can pretend I'm in a straight relationship, but what about you?”  
“I'd stand by you. No matter what. Well, at least if you'd like me to.”

Even though he uses a serious voice for this meaningful statement, Marc laughs.

“You're crazy.”

Yeah, maybe. He doesn't know if he really meant it the way he said it but... Still.  
It doesn't matter. First, it doesn't matter because Marc leans over to him to kiss him and then, it doesn't matter because...

“I want to stay here, though. Just the two of us.”

Damn, Marc really knows how to make him weak. By feeling so comfortable with him that he's able to switch between being sorrowful, being playful and being romantic within a few minutes.  
How could he express the way he feels about that? Rafa doesn't know. So he confines himself to stroking Marc's hand with his thumb, smiling at him, before he decides to destroy the sappy mood.

“You just want to get into my pants again, eh?”

Luckily, Marc accepts his mood swings the same way Rafa did. He giggles, then he pulls away his hand to grab his butt.  
Wow. Quite self-assertive.

“Maybe.”

God, this feels so much better than before, when Marc was still so reserved. It almost made him feel like he forced Marc to do something he didn't want to do – now, Marc is just himself. His sunny, happy self.  
Sadly, Marc takes away his hand from Rafa's butt. Instead, he places it on his back.

“Okay, I'd suggest we take a shower first.”

Good idea. Until now, Rafa simply was too lazy to move – well, also he liked lying around with Marc a tad too much – but he can't ignore the tweak at his stomach where Marc's come is drying up.  
Nevertheless, this is a perfect assist for a remark he simply has to make.

“Together?”

Making Marc laugh is really simple. He already realized this when he still thought they could only be friends but today, since Marc relaxed a little bit, it's even easier.

“Sure. But without sex. Not that soon.”

Marc sits up, he runs his fingers through his hair.  
Unfair. He can't just sit there like that, still naked, with that look on his face – and tell him he's not in for sex right now.

“What a pity.”  
“Give me a break.”

Luckily, Marc doesn't feel offended – he's still giggly. Nevertheless, he gets up now. Then he holds out his hand to Rafa.

“Get up.”

Well, if he insists...

For now, they turn their back to the whirlpool. They can check it out later – right now, Rafa isn't in the mood for warm water anyway. A cold shower is what he needs.  
And Marc, of course. It doesn't matter what they do as long as he can hang out with Marc.  
Speaking of...

While Marc pretends to be a gentleman by holding the shower door open, Rafa addresses him.

“We could give the pool a go afterwards.”  
“Sure. We'll be wet already.”

Yes, that's just what he had in mind. Nice to see that they think alike.  
Rafa steps into the shower, Marc follows. It's actually not as easy as they imagined – even though the shower is quite spacious, they don't know at first where to stand. It doesn't take them too long, though – and in return, they agree on a water temperature at once.  
For some moments, Rafa simply enjoys the cold water pattering on his body, the sound of the water drops, the faint sound of Marc's breaths... Then he opens his eyes again, just in time to see Marc shifting from one leg to another.

“Are you okay?”

Rafa can't even think about his question – he said it before he spent a single thought on it. Maybe he should have considered that Marc is totally able to voice his doubts, his problems, so there's no need to ask...  
No. As he has realized before, he likes being able to talk about everything with Marc. So it's okay if he worries about him.

Marc smiles at him, then he reaches out. Rafa makes a little step forward – it's already sufficient for Marc. Well, at least because he can now put his arms around him. The distance between them is still too big in Marc's eyes. He pulls Rafa closer, Rafa steps forward willingly until he's standing directly in front of Marc, until he's able to rest his head on Marc's chest.  
Before, when they were in bed, he forgot for quite some time that Marc is taller than him. Now, it's pretty obvious. He needs to look up in order to see Marc's face...  
But he likes it, actually. He also likes hugging him while the water still patters on them.

“More than just okay. It was... I'm happy.”

Okay, that's not exactly what he wanted to hear but... He won't complain. Rafa also accepts the kiss that follows right away.  
Marc is happy. He liked what they did in bed, he likes being with Rafa.  
Well, that's good news.

Nevertheless, Rafa needs an answer – needs an answer for the question he meant to ask.

“Did I hurt you?”

When he started penetrating Marc, he saw him flinch. Yes, he paused at once – he would have stopped at that point if Marc hadn't told him to go on after a while, when he looked a bit more relaxed. He didn't spend more thoughts on this moment afterwards because everything seemed to be alright for Marc then. But the movement just now...

“It's okay.”  
“This isn't a 'no'.”

Honestly, he doesn't know how to react. If he hurt Marc, he should have stopped, simple as that. He didn't, so what can he do now?  
Marc still smiles at him, though. He strokes his back, he holds him close.

“It... It stings a bit – I think that's the right expression. But it doesn't hurt. I guess that's normal.”

Okay, this is... quite good. He can stop worrying now – instead he can be glad about receiving such an honest answer. Damn, this is another thing that makes being with Marc so pleasurable – it's so easy. Even though not everyone would consider his doubts at the beginning as 'easy'... As long as they're able to talk about everything, it's okay to be a bit doubtful at times.

“That's great.”

Although those two words per se sound rather bland, they are enough to show he's relieved. And Rafa is pretty sure Marc has seen this. His smile gets a bit broader, he pulls him a bit closer. Then he bends down to him and whispers in his ear.

“You were awesome.”

And back to joking around again. Well, it might even be the truth, at least partially, but Rafa realizes that Marc only said this to make fun of him, of his worries.  
But if he wants to flirt... Rafa is in for it, too.

“Thanks to you, of course.”

Marc laughs – his nose touches the spot behind Rafa's ear because he gets so close. Then he pushes him away.

“Let's go to the pool.”

Too late. He already saw him blushing. Well, Marc isn't the only one who can serve compliments as a joke.  
Okay, just this once, he'll let Marc get away with it. Instead of pointing out that he realized that his compliment moved him, he follows Marc as he leaves the shower cabin. They both pick up towels from the towel rack next to the shower, then, after toweling down a bit, Rafa wraps it around his waist. Marc does so, too, after a short glance at him.


	10. você é tão bonito

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm back again! ... even though it feels like no one cares for this fic anyway. Am I just screaming into the void or is there actually someone out there who's reading this?
> 
> (except for my friends. ♥)
> 
> This is the reason why I was gone for so long. I didn't know if this was still worth posting. I still don't know, tbh. But it's worth a try, I guess?

**você é tão bonito**   
_you're so handsome_

They don't walk to the pool immediately, though. Rafa heads there but Marc doesn't take the stairs down. Instead he enters the bedroom again – Rafa follows him, wondering what he's up to.  
Apparently, he wants to pick up something from his backpack. Marc stands in front of the cupboard where they have placed their baggage, he rummages in his bag.

Is he looking for his swim trunks?

Hopefully he isn't. Somehow, it'd feel like a retreat if they got dressed now. Well, he doesn't expect him and Marc to run around naked all day long but it's appropriate to stay naked in the pool. However, swim trunks could be some kind of barrier, a sign that they... cover up. Even though he might overinterpret this.  
There's no need for those thoughts, however. When Marc turns around, he holds a box in his hand.

“I brought cherries.”

Rafa can't stop himself – he laughs. Partly because he's embarrassed by his worries, partly because he's relieved.  
It's cute, though. Marc didn't just wait for something to happen, he wanted to contribute to their day, too, let it be just a little something.

Nevertheless, Marc guesses what he first thought – apparently he saw the surprise on his face.

“Did you worry I'd get dressed?”

Well, he didn't want to go this far but he doesn't want to deny it, either.

“It would be a shame to cover up this body.”  
“Shut up. You're the one with the sixpack and the tanned skin."

Ah, they're back to making fun of each other. Not in the way he expected – Marc doesn't keep pestering him with his worries.

"Well, it's not exactly a tan. I'm Brazilian."  
"What's your excuse for your six-pack then?"

But... are they really making fun of each other still? Marc doesn't sound like he's making this up – he actually sounds like he's bothered about his looks.  
Well, Rafa doesn't mind comforting him, though. Especially when they're talking about Marc's looks – he didn't fall for him by ignoring the way he looks.

"You're a goalkeeper, you have to be lean. Have you ever seen a super muscular goalkeeper?"

Marc is still doubting, though.

"Tim Wiese."  
"Mh?"  
"He was a German goalkeeper some time ago. I heard he wants to become a wrestler now."

Rafa feels like he's missing a joke there. The doubt on Marc's face disappeared, instead, there's a grin now. But if Marc doesn't want to explain the joke...

"I still don't know who he is and how he looks but I'd favor you over him anyway."

It seems to be the right thing to say. Marc's grin becomes softer, turns into a pleased smile.  
Well, at least for a few seconds. Then he starts laughing.

"Eh... Even in my most self-critical moments, I wouldn't doubt that."

Ah, there it is again – the joke Rafa didn't get. He already considers staring at Marc with one raised eyebrow until he explains himself but luckily, that's not necessary.

"He's super buff. He... I don't know if he still can move properly because he's so muscly. I definitely don't want to look like him and I'm glad you don't look like him either."  
"Okaaay..."

Marc isn't done yet, though.

"Just be glad you don't know him. It'd be quite a turnoff."

Okay. He'll just accept that. Especially because it also means Marc wants him to stay aroused. Well, he sees no need to complain about that.  
Luckily, Marc doesn't think it's necessary to talk about that German goalkeeper any longer. Now, he wants to discuss a German goalkeeper Rafa prefers – himself.

“We can't go downstairs yet, though. If we're going outside, I need to put on some sun block.”  
“I hope you brought some.”  
“Of course.”

Marc hands him his box of cherries, then he opens his backpack again. It doesn't take him long to find the tube of sunscreen and then, they're both finally set. Off to the pool it is!  
The first thing they do upon arriving at the pool is put their toes in the water. Again, Marc is quite pleased with what he discovers. He doesn't pull out his foot at once, instead he splashes around a bit.  
Then, he turns to Rafa.

“Would you mind putting the sun block on me?”  
“Nah, no problem.”

Rafa takes a look around until he sees some beach chairs a few steps away.

“Over there?”

Marc nods, he pulls his foot out of the water and walks over to the place Rafa announced. A short glance at him, then he lies on his stomach.  
Okay, maybe it wasn't the best idea he ever had. Seeing Marc lying there, seeing his rather lean figure, his naked skin... Damn, he would love to lie next to him, to kiss his shoulder blades, to let his fingers trail down Marc's spine...  
Putting on some sun block it is, instead. And he needs to focus on that, after all, he doesn't want Marc to get sunburnt. It'd be a shame if they had to spend the rest of the day putting some ice bags on Marc's deep-red shoulders...

Rafa takes the sun block bottle Marc holds out for him, then he sits down on Marc's thighs. Quite a nice place...  
Focus. Now.

He puts a little bit of cream on Marc's back, starts to dispense it.  
Marc's skin is so soft. So pale, so even... It's also a bit cold, thanks to their shower before and thanks to the time they spent inside where it was way cooler. Soon, his skin will store the heat...  
Marc shuffles a little bit – just a tiny little bit, Rafa doesn't even have to get up. Then he can hear Marc moan. A soft, small, content moan.

Damn, this is really difficult.

Okay, different approach. He needs to distract himself – and Marc, too, apparently.

“So that's why you're still so pale despite the Spanish sun.”  
“See? Now you've said it yourself – I'm pale.”  
“You're light-skinned and you don't try to change it. Also, it suits you. A lot.”

Marc doesn't answer. Instead he burrows his head in his arms he crossed in front of him.  
Did he blush? Rafa moves a bit sideways so he can catch a glance at his face but Marc turns his head a bit so he can't see anymore.  
Yep, looks like he managed to compliment him.

Not the right approach, either. They can't talk about attractiveness, that's part of the problem right now. At least it's a problem if they want to wait a bit before they have sex again – and now, they want to take a swim in the pool.  
It's actually more difficult than he thought. They both should be saturated thanks to their rendezvous upstairs but there's still quite some tingling.

“I'm going to draw something on your back. You need to guess what.”

Marc giggles – he doesn't complain. So Rafa starts to put sunscreen on his back in certain shapes – the first one he can think of.  
R – A –

Damn, he miscalculated the space on Marc's back. The next letter would slip down Marc's side.  
Also, Marc didn't say anything yet. He should have guessed the first two letters by now.

“Did you recognize something?”  
“No.”

Okay. Maybe writing something on Marc's back was a bit too difficult. Shapes, then.  
Rafa gets rid of the sunblock, then he starts again. This time, he's a bit more successful – Marc starts guessing immediately.

“A circle? A... A cloud? The sun?”

The sexual tension is almost gone now – how can he still be turned on if Marc behaves that stupidly? Okay, Marc is still adorable but their little game is quite distracting.

“No. None of that. Try again.”

Rafa removes the sunblock again, starts again. This time, his drawing is a little bit more recognizable.

“A ball? A.... It's a heart?”  
“Yes! Finally.”

A bit kitschy, yes. But he couldn't think of anything else – he simply isn't that creative.  
Marc doesn't wait for him to draw another picture. Instead, he starts moving underneath him until he can turn around.  
Well, this isn't exactly helpful... Sitting on Marc, looking at him – if he just moved forward a bit, they could kiss again, they could...

Marc clears his throat.

“I think that's enough sunblock. I won't get a sunburn today, I guess.”

Of course, it's a bit straining – feeling so much desire and trying to resist it... But Marc is struggling, too. It helps, somehow.

“So we're finally checking out the pool?”  
“If you get down from me, yeah.”

Okay. To the pool – finally.

It's surprisingly pleasant. The water is refreshing, the pool is big enough to swim laps – and their bodies seem to have accepted that they need a break from sex. They don't just swim – they also have fun splashing around, dunking each other...  
There's still a lot of physical contact, though. Also, there are many opportunities to kiss and they gladly make use of them.

After a while, they're both exhausted. Rafa takes a bit longer – Marc already clung on the pool edge for some moments until Rafa feels there's no energy left for another round of whatever. It just takes them some head movements to agree on leaving the pool.  
Marc is the first to get out of the pool – Rafa lingers around in the water a little bit longer. Of course he didn't do that to look at Marc's ass, no – who would do something like that? Just a short glance...  
Marc is totally okay with it. As he almost reached the top of the ladder, he turns around and grins at him.

God, it just feels so good to be here with Marc. They are so close – at the moment, it's not even physical but even though Marc is some meters away, Rafa still feels so close to him.

Okay, it's time to change the part with “not even physical”. Rafa also gets out of the water, he follows Marc who already walked over to the table where he placed his sunscreen after Rafa was done putting the lotion on him.  
Ah, right. The cherries. Marc put the box under the table, in the shadow, so they wouldn't get warm. Of course, a fridge would have been more useful but they just weren't in the mood to walk over to the kitchen. Now neither – at least Rafa. So he's quite thankful for this place.  
Marc already took the first cherry out of the box, he's waiting with it between his fingers until Rafa arrives next to him.

“Open your mouth.”

Rafa obeys at once, Marc puts the cherry in his mouth. His fingertips linger on his lips for some more seconds, they look at each other – the sparks are back.  
Well, at least a bit. Because feeding each other with cherries in such a sensual way gets boring after a while – especially because Marc picked some quite delicious food. Also, there was this double-stem cherry and Rafa just had to hang it on Marc's ear...  
Now they just eat – and try to get rid of the pits. Again, they didn't need any words – they simply started a contest on who is able to spit the pits farther. Marc put his arm around Rafa's shoulder, Rafa leans against him, they both can't stop giggling, Marc's skin is so warm and even though he regretted wrapping his towel around his waist again, it's okay now.

They still behave like they did before, when they were “just” friends. They joke around, they have fun... But they're closer now. And that's simply awesome.

Marc stops his reflection. For a few seconds, he doesn't just focus on beating Rafa at their little game.

“Kirschkernweitspucken.”  
“Mh?”

Rafa turns his head to look at Marc – he smiles broadly, his eyes aren't focused but then he looks down at him.

“Kirschkernweitspucken. It's the German name for this game.”  
“Oh. Don't expect me to remember this word.”

He laughs, pulls him a bit closer. Apparently, Marc isn't afraid anymore of being affectionate – this is a different Marc than the one he got to know but it's an admirable side of him.   
Somehow, he knew it. Even though Marc always hugged him rather reluctantly, Rafa could sense he was a cuddler. He just had to get used to being close to him – he just had to learn he could trust Rafa.

“I don't. When you start learning German, we'll start with simpler words.”  
“If.”  
“No. When. You're going to learn German one day.”

Well, actually... Rafa already started learning German. Not in a professional way, admittedly, but he tried to memorize some words Marc used, he also looked up some words... After all, he had to impress a German guy.  
His German is still shit, obviously. The few words he knows don't count as “knowing” German. So he forgives Marc that he sweeps it under the carpet.  
It's more important that Marc knows this language.

“I like hearing you speak German. You don't sound... harsh or angry – whatever German is supposed to sound like, whatever German sounds like with other people. When you speak German, it's... melodious, somehow.”

Rafa felt this way a few times before – but he never was able to put it into words. Now, one word from Marc was enough.  
(Or was it only one word? It was pretty long, after all. Well, it's still German – probably, there are German words that are longer than a short sentence.)

Marc blushes again. His face is already a bit less pale than before, thanks to being outside and thanks to the fun they had, but Rafa can easily recognize that his cheeks turned a little bit more red.  
His words don't sound that touched, though.

“Thanks for telling me I don't sound like Hitler.”

That's. Not. What. He. Said.  
If he hadn't seen the blush... Well, he's still angry. A little bit. A tiny little bit. At least he pretends to be angry – he punches Marc against his shoulder. 

“Just learn to take a compliment for once.”  
“I do! I try to. But it's difficult when it's coming from you. Because you're...”

Marc lifts his head, looks at the sky just as if the words he's looking for are somewhere up there.  
Damn, he's so adorable. When he's so flustered, when he's super relaxed... Always.

Apparently, Marc found the words he was looking for.

“Damn, you're so hot and so cool and all. Being complimented by you is... overwhelming.”

So...  
How do you keep yourself from blurting out “I love you” in such a moment? Damn, Rafa is super emotional all the time, how is he supposed to stay cool if Marc says things like that? His heart races, his stomach feels warm – he feels love.

However, he somehow manages to keep quiet. Kissing Marc is quite a nice substitute.

~*~*~


	11. eu gosto de estar com você

**eu gosto de estar com você**   
_I like being with you_

Marc looks so relaxed. And happy – content, somehow. He has tilted his head back, his eyes are closed, there's a faint smile on his lips.  
It's beautiful to see – he is beautiful. Also when you look further down, see his wet chest, partly under water... But his face alone is worth looking at, too. Because his face is gorgeous and because his happiness makes Rafa happy, too.

They couldn't do without water after their trip to the pool. This time, Marc wanted to check out the whirlpool. And even though it's really hot outside and it'd be more appropriate to go swimming in the cool pool again, Rafa fulfilled Marc's wish.  
He was right, though. It's something different than being in the pool, of course, but it's also awesome. Super relaxing – and apparently Marc enjoys being able to relax.

There's one thing that bugs Rafa, though. A thought that came up when he was busy watching Marc.  
He needs to tell him about his motive.

“Marc?”  
“Mh?”

Ah, he's not asleep. He looks like he spaced out but he's still conscious and able to listen to him.

“I just wanted to tell you...”

Now, Marc lifts his head and opens his eyes. The smile remains, however.  
Okay, this makes talking... more difficult? In a way, yes. Because talking while Marc had his eyes closed seemed like babbling, like chit-chatting a bit, not exactly knowing if Marc actually listens. This way, he knows Marc is actually paying attention.  
It's not thoroughly bad, though. It's also helpful. Seeing he just has to admit this once because Marc will get everything... Also, it's important. Rafa really wants him to know.

“I don't do all of this just to hand you over to the world of gay guys. I don't want to convince you that being with a guy is nice just because it'd be a loss if you didn't know. It's because I...”

This is one of the reasons why Marc being all attentive is a bit difficult. Now that he's at a loss of words, he can't just pick a random one – in this context, every single phrasing is really important.

“I like being with you. I like spending time with you. I like being here with you.”

There's so much more he could say. He could tell Marc that he's really special to him. How much he longs for him. How his heart beats faster, his skin tingles when Marc smiles at him. That he's in love with him, somehow. But it would be over the top. Marc can guess the message he hid between the lines – and even if he doesn't, he now knows what he's supposed to know.  
Marc doesn't respond. He just keeps looking at him, smiling at him, without saying a word. Then he pushes off the edge of the whirlpool so he can drift over to him. It's not exactly swimming – after all, it's still just a whirlpool, too small to actually swim, but big enough for some distance between them – but apparently it brings him to the place where he wants to be.  
To Rafa.

He places his hand in his neck, opens his mouth – it looks like he wants to say something but then he closes his mouth again and shakes his head, just a tiny little bit, just as if he gave up on finding appropriate words.  
Well, he doesn't need them. Because instead of saying something, he gets a little bit closer and kisses him. Slowly, softly, a bit teasing...

It's okay. Well, the kiss isn't just okay, of course, it's... It's a different kiss than the ones they shared before and he already became addicted to those, so it's an awesome experience. But also... Even though Marc didn't comment on any part of Rafa's speech, it's okay. Because Rafa was able to voice his doubts, his fear, his feelings, at least some of them. Marc heard it, Marc took notice, Marc accepts it. And his soft kiss speaks volumes, too – it's some kind of mixture, made up of being grateful, being glad, being happy, being content...  
It's okay for both of them. So finally he can let go of those final worries to enjoy the rest of their day.

They both do. After a while, there's nothing left of this gentleness in their kiss. Well, they're still gentle to each other but it isn't the main motif anymore. No, it's...  
Arousal.

Somehow, they manage to get out of the whirlpool, to walk over to the bedroom – it's not exactly walking anymore, though, rather dragging each other while kissing, while touching -, to lie down on the bed.

Marc on top of him feels really good, too.

~*~*~


	12. jantar à luz de velas

**jantar à luz de velas**   
_candlelight dinner_

“I'm hungry.”

Yeah, that's quite obvious, there was no need for Marc to mention it. After all, he heard his stomach growl a few times already.  
Eating something would be quite nice, though. Since they arrived here, they only had the cherries Marc brought with him and that's no compensation for a proper meal.

Rafa caresses Marc's tummy.

“We could call some delivery service, we could go to a restaurant...”

This time, the sound comes from Marc's throat. It's a sound of disapproval.

“But I want to stay here. And food from some delivery service... Meh. But hey, I could cook something!”

Well, Marc is right – even though he didn't voice his arguments against the delivery service. It's unromantic, somehow – and the risk is too high that they won't like it.  
Marc cooking, though...

“Yeah, you could, but... I invited you to this place. I can't tell you to do some work in the kitchen. I could cook something, too.” 

Just in time, he raises his head to see Marc lifting one eyebrow – well, again, two eyebrows because he still couldn't get the knack of it.

"Stop it. My meals are okay."

Sometimes, they go have dinner together. But most of the time, they hang out at one of their places (or next to it, like their favorite spot on the beach which is fairly close to Marc's place) and the host prepares a meal. Thus, Marc could try some of his meals – and he never complained.  
Well, Rafa knows he's not superb at cooking. But – like he said – it's okay. Edible, at least.

Marc doesn't elaborate further – a sign for "yes, they are"? Instead, he returns to their little argument.

"You said I should have fun. And cooking is fun."

Okay, admittedly, he already considered letting Marc prepare dinner before. After all, Marc is a really good cook – better than him, there's no disgrace in admitting this. It's his hobby, he doesn't just cook in order to get something to eat – he likes to experiment, to improve.  
And if Marc insists on taking care of their dinner...  
Of course, he doesn't want to keep Marc from something that's fun.

"Let's cook together."

At first, Marc looks quite skeptical. But he has to accept that this is the only way that Rafa feels okay with letting him cook. Doing it together seems like a fun activity and not like a duty.

"Okay. What do you have in mind?"  
"Whatever you'd like to cook."

Again, Marc tries to raise one eyebrow. But this time, it's not necessary – apparently, there was a misunderstanding.

"It's not because I don't want to bother you, okay? It's because I like whatever you're preparing."

Yes, it was a misunderstanding. The annoyed look on Marc's face disappears at once, instead, he blushes.  
Still not able to take a compliment... Well, he has to get used to it. There are a lot of things about Marc worth complimenting and Rafa won't hesitate.

"Okay. I'd say we pick some meat, like..."

He doesn't complete his sentence – at least if you don't count a groan as a valid end for a sentence.

"I don't know exactly what it's called in English."  
"Doesn't matter. As long as you recognize it in the shop... As I just said – I'm okay with everything as long as you prepare it."

A third time – the eyebrow. Rafa wishes he could say that Marc improves with each time but... No. He doesn't. He fails every single time.  
And every single time, he looks cute. Especially because he doesn't look as bad-ass as he wanted to – he looks rather... surprised.

"Yeah, sorry. As long as we prepare it."

This is what Marc wanted to criticize. Now that Rafa corrected himself, he looks content again.  
Then he gets all busy.

“Okay. So we need to go shopping. I'll check what they have in store.”  
“Sounds good.”

Rafa tries to get up – he can't, though. Marc holds him tight, tighter than before.

“Well, if you want to go shopping, you have to let go of me – and you have to get up.”

Apparently, this is not quite convincing. Marc hides his face at Rafa's neck, his breath tickles his skin.

“Don't want to.”  
“You were the one who wanted to get food. You were hungry.”  
“Mh.”

Actually, he doesn't want to force Marc to get out of bed. It's quite pleasant, lying in bed with him. Also, he really enjoys the fact that Marc is just as happy with the situation as he is.  
But they're hungry. Both of them, even though Marc was the first to talk about it. And well, they can't stay here forever but they still got some time left.  
So he won't pressure Marc.

It takes them some time to finally get up. Some kisses, some giggling... Then Marc's stomach grumbles again, reminding them of their duties, their plans.

They don't take long for their shopping trip. Well, that may be due to their impatience... Rafa is quite sure he saw Marc spending more time in a supermarket already. This time, he didn't choose his ingredients that carefully and even though he said he wanted to get inspired by the stuff at the supermarket, he was quite determined.  
Rafa won't complain, though. He still took enough time to pick useful ingredients – at least that's what it looked like. Also, it felt a bit strange... They wanted to be alone again. Being in public felt like having an invisible barrier between them. It already became much better when they returned to the car and when they entered the house the barrier disappeared again.

Marc heads to the kitchen immediately, Rafa follows him. They unpack the stuff they just bought, then Marc starts briefing him.

“Could you start with peeling the potatoes?”  
“Sure.”

Luckily, the rent for this house also includes cutlery and kitchen tools – they didn't consider this when they were shopping, Rafa just thought about it when he started opening the drawer.  
Next to him, Marc opens another cupboard where he finds some pots. While Rafa starts peeling the potatoes, he picks up all the pots, pans and tools he needs.  
He really likes being in the kitchen, Rafa realizes. Marc is so calm, so relaxed...

He doesn't stay relaxed, though. At least, things get a bit more hectic as soon as Marc is done searching the tools and as he begins to prepare the food, too.  
After a while, there's nothing left to do for Rafa. They cut all the vegetable, he opened the bottle of wine Marc intends to use for seasoning their meal, another bottle of wine which Rafa bought... Marc looks really focused right now – he's putting the pork meat in a pan.

“I'm going to set the table. You'd like to sit outside?”  
“Sure.”

Marc glances at him shortly – but it's enough to make his stomach lift. The smile on his face... He just likes being together with him like that. When both of them can do whatever they want and it's okay whether they stick together all the time or they do things on their own – of course they'll stick together today most of the time as their time is limited.  
Rafa can't resist. Before he starts looking for the dishes, he walks over to Marc, hugs him from behind and kisses his neck.  
The tension in Marc's body loosens at once. He places the final piece of meat in the pan – rather sloppily, he'd say, considering how much he worried about the other pieces. Then he turns around and wraps his arms around him.

“Didn't you want to set the table?”

God, he's so beautiful with that teasing smile. He wouldn't tell him because he's supposed to oppose to Marc teasing him but it really suits him.

“Need a kiss first. I don't know if I'm able to make the long way outside without.”

Marc lifts his hand, he softly strokes his cheek. The teasing look decreases a bit, his look becomes more loving.

“Won't risk that. I don't want to be found guilty if you collapse.”  
“I love how you take care of me.”

Even though they just basically told each other they wanted to kiss they don't move forward. For some more moments, they just look at each other, smiling, Rafa can see the spark in Marc's eyes... Then Marc pulls him closer and their lips meet.  
It's not just a short kiss, they're both in the mood for more. Understandable – after all, not being able to be close to each other in public made them yearn for each other and they haven't kissed yet since they entered the house again.  
It's no hurried kiss either. It's soft, it's pleasant... And it makes Rafa realize how much has changed in the last few hours. Considering that Marc panicked at their first kiss here... He's so calm now.

Rafa is pretty sure that this is the real Marc – that the Marc who didn't want to be so close to him was a disguise, a defense mechanism.  
And yet he doesn't know if it will last.

Now is not the time to worry about that. It's more important to enjoy the kiss. To feel Marc's fingers stroking his neck really slowly – so slow that it almost seems to be unconsciously -, to lean against his strong body, to feel the goosebumps on his skin as Rafa lets his hand slip under his T-shirt...  
It's a smell that manages to distract his attention from the kiss. A burnt smell. And Marc notices it at the same moment as Rafa.  
This time, he doesn't feel offended as Marc takes a step back.

“Damn, I forgot the meat.”

Yeah, he did, too. But Rafa wasn't responsible for the meat. Well, he wouldn't know what to do now either and Marc obviously does so they set the tasks right.  
Marc turns around, he grabs the meat tweezers he used before to place the meat in the pan. This time, he really hurries – he turns every single piece as fast as possible. They're rather dark now, though.

“Fuck. Wine.”

Sounds like an order. And considering he's (at least partly) to blame for the damage, Rafa doesn't hesitate to obey. He grabs the bottle of wine Marc picked and hands it over to him, Marc pours a bit into the pan. There's a lot of steam at once – Rafa intuitively takes one step back but Marc somehow seems to be calmed down by the steam.

“Thanks. Pepper and salt.”

Rafa hands him the seasonings, Marc places them next to the pan first – he's still busy with the ingredients of the pan.  
It goes on like that. Rafa's plans to set the table are delayed, now he helps Marc – and Marc is really thankful for his helping hands.  
They work quite well together. Well, apart from their little accident at the beginning, apart from all the breaks they need to take to hug or kiss... Rafa is quite sure Marc planned something different for their dinner – less burnt meat, less cooked sauce, stuff like that – but nevertheless it works out okay.

They both confirm this some time later. Rafa managed to finally put plates, cutlery and their wine on the table outside, Marc brought their meal... Although he made sure to remind Rafa that this wasn't his best performance, it's really tasty. Sure, a slight burned touch and so on, but... It's good nevertheless.  
Also, there's something to distract from these little imperfections.

It's so quiet out here. It's really just them for some hours. Just them, their little house and the dazzling view.  
It still feels so good to spend time with Marc. Whether they're flirting, whether Rafa looks at Marc's silhouette while Marc is busy staring at the horizon, whether their eyes suddenly meet and they smile at each other...  
He's beautiful. Marc is so beautiful and seeing him so peaceful makes him even more beautiful.

~*~*~


	13. saudade

**saudade**   
_longing for someone/something that isn't with you anymore_

It still takes Rafa some more hours to lose this feeling of floating, of being in a happy bubble. After they finished dinner and cleaned the kitchen – it wasn't exactly fun but together, it was bearable -, they went to the pool again. It was a compensation for cleaning before – they just swam for a while, then they enjoyed the view. At least you could call it that... The view was superb, sure – it was dawn, you could see the lights on the hill and several little spots on the sea. But seeing Marc watching the sunset was quite a view, too. And hugging him from behind, kissing his neck... Having sex again was long overdue.  
Afterwards, they decided to go inside. Well, first Marc asked him to play something on the guitar he spotted in the trunk. Even though Rafa brought it here on purpose, he was really nervous – Marc already heard him play before but playing the guitar just for him?  
Marc enjoyed it, though. And after a while, Rafa did so, too.

Going to bed... It was great, too. Not only because of the sex – afterwards, it was still awesome. Feeling Marc's head resting on his chest, his fingers trailing down his naked body... Marc kissing his upper body tranquilly, their fingers entwining again and again because they both felt the need to loosen their grip in order to stroke each other's arms, back, neck, but wanting to hold hands again soon after...  
Then Marc fell asleep. He looks really cute when he's sleeping, even more relaxed than just before but watching him became boring after a while. Not 'I don't want to do that anymore'-boring, rather... Rafa felt pumped, somehow. Unsettled.

He can't sleep. And the longer he lies awake, the more he feels like shit.

Damn, he's super tired. Their day together was exhausting – going swimming, all the sex, making this house feel like home... A lot of different activities and together, they were energy-sapping. Also, it's quite late by now.  
Nevertheless, his heart races and he stares at the ceiling wide-eyed.

The big problem is the lump in his throat. He feels like he's on the verge of tears, he feels... He feels bad, simple as that.  
Being with Marc showed Rafa that he really wants Marc. It stirred something in him – something that was already there, it made it increase. He wants.... Moremoremoremoreofthisandeverything.  
But it's not his decision alone. Marc has a say in it, too, and it's more than probable he prefers returning to his old, familiar, straight life tomorrow.

He'd really love to fall asleep, if only to forget those thoughts for a few hours. But on the other hand, he'd prefer staying awake all night to make use of every single second they still got together – they still lie naked next to each other.  
Those two things together, they're just too much. It becomes so overwhelming that Rafa decides to take a break.  
He gets up, picks up his clothes as quiet as possible and gets dressed. Then he walks down to the pool.

Letting his feet dangle in the pool lifts his spirit a tiny little bit. At least, he's now able to think about what he could do now.  
Should he call someone? Well, it had to be someone who knows of his little trip here which minimizes the number of people he could call. His brother, his best friend, Neymar...  
He can't call Thiago. His brother told him this would be a bad idea – when Rafa told him what he'd done, he shook his head and looked at him with pity. He got almost the same reaction from his best friend, too.  
Neymar laughed at least. Well, he's Neymar. He laughs at everything. But then he became all serious and said "You're fucked.".

Unfortunately, they were all right. And he can't muster the courage to tell them – not now.

Damn, what did he expect? Did he really think one night could convince Marc that it's totally okay to be gay?  
Admittedly, he didn't give it a lot of thought. He just wanted to spend some time with Marc, he just wanted to be able to kiss him.

Well, he got what he wanted. But he also got a broken heart. Fuck, it hurts so much when he remembers it may be over so soon.

Even at the pool, he just can't stop thinking about everything. About how much he enjoyed the day with Marc, about how much he longs for more days like this, about how helpless he feels because he clearly sees his goal but no way to reach it...  
He's so busy worrying that he jumps when he hears steps behind him. Luckily, there are big hands on his shoulders the next moment, otherwise he might have fallen into the pool.

It's Marc, of course. Marc who sits down next to him, who wraps his arms around him. Then he leans his head on his shoulder, blows a light kiss at his neck before he stays all calm. His hair tickles Rafa's cheek.

Now that Marc is so close to him, Rafa notices his smell. Well, they were close before but now... It's a bit different somehow.  
He smells of sweat. Not in an unpleasant way, it's not strong but it's quite distinctive. Especially because Rafa realizes that there's nothing left of the abundant amount of perfume Marc put on in the morning.  
Okay, all the time they spent in the water was rather helpful – having sex all the more.

“What's up with you? Are you alright?”

Marc sounds so sleepy... He's probably tired, too – and contrary to Rafa, he's able to find sleep. But instead of resting, he decided to come down to see him.  
Damn, it's again one of those little things that keep Rafa's hope alive even if he tries to resist. It would be so wonderful if Marc was on the same page as him...

Well, Marc wants to know how he feels. Should he tell him? After all, he wanted to talk to somebody about it – and when he racked his brain who to call, he forgot that there's another person who knows what's going on.  
Marc.  
Also, Marc offered to listen to him. And he has to say something – Marc is waiting for his answer. For his honest answer because damn, Rafa is really proud of being honest whenever it is appropriate.  
At some point he has to tell Marc what's going on. So... Why shouldn't he do it right now? He can't feel much worse.

“I really liked spending the day with you.”

Wow, he didn't expect his voice to sound that strong. It's almost impossible to tell that he feels like shit.  
Marc lifts his head. By now, Rafa's eyes became used to the dark so the little light coming from the house and from the moon is sufficient to look at him. He can't tell though if it's the same for Marc, too.

“Me, too. It was a perfect first 'Dia do caralho'.”

Exactly. That's the problem.  
Rafa feels too much. He didn't expect to get so emotional – he thought he could satisfy his needs and be calmer around Marc in the future. Instead he's worrying about what will happen tomorrow.

Damn, he's so scared Marc will be really particular about the "one day" thing. What if he couldn't convince him of living his life like he wants to – so he's happy with his life and his decisions? What if Marc decides to continue his life just like before, as a straight guy? Maybe he'll consider having sex with him next year at the same time because that's what you do but the rest of the year, he'll be with somebody else – with a woman.

It was rather easy to decide to confront Marc with the truth. Finding the right words is way more difficult – he just can't think of anything. Should he correct him, should he say he really really likes being with him?  
He doesn't need to decide yet, Marc leapfrogs him.

“I talked to Neymar. He said there's no 'Dia do caralho'.”

Fuck.  
First, Rafa is absolutely shocked. He can't move anymore, he feels like he just swallowed a lot of water.  
It takes quite a while until his reasoning returns.

Of course, his first thought was “Great, now everything blows up.”. But... There's something else.

“You're still here nevertheless?”

Now, his voice trembles – you can clearly hear the incredulity and the surprise.

“Yes.”

Marc smiles at him. He's still so calm... Rafa isn't. His heart beats so fast, he can't think clearly.  
He needs to, though.

Okay, one step at a time. Marc is here to celebrate the 'Dia do caralho' with him – even though he knows Rafa made it up.  
Since when does he know? He asked Neymar, so... Rafa is quite sure they didn't phone today. So he knew about the trick before they started the trip.  
He came here even though he knew it was a trick. He didn't need the 'Dia do caralho' as an excuse to come with him.

Okay, that's... Incredible. It's really hard to swallow – in a positive sense, but still difficult. And Rafa doesn't know what to believe anymore.

“Is it something bad?”

Marc still smiles. Also, he lifts his hand, puts it on Rafa's cheek.  
This is...

He confirms what he just concluded.

“No. It isn't.”

Okay. Deep breath. Another deep breath.  
It's true. Marc really wanted to spend time with him – Marc really wanted to share some rather intimate moments with him. He didn't need an excuse, he simply wanted it.

Marc isn't done yet, though. Now, his smile faints a bit, his voice sounds a bit sore.  
It isn't exactly easy for him either.

“You know, I... I like you. I really like you. But I always panicked so much when we got close. I really wanted to kiss you, I really wanted to be close to you but I just couldn't do it.”

Damn, he still can't believe it. Rafa realizes what Marc tells him but...  
It's overwhelming. He needs to get used to it step by step.

“But...”  
“But your idea with the 'Dia do caralho' changed everything. Meeting you in a vacation home, being away from home, from our regular environment... It helped me. And the part with 'letting go of everything for one day' avoided all that made me panic. So I decided to do it.”

It's just like he thought – like he didn't dare to wish for. Marc is actually into men – Marc is actually into them. But his life as footballer prevents him from being himself. Here, he could do whatever he wanted.

“So...”

Marc just looks at him – this time he doesn't pick up his sentence.  
It's Rafa's turn now.

“Marc, I want to have more days like this. With you.”  
“Me, too.”

It's -  
Just two words but they're enough to leave him speechless. For a few seconds, he wrecks his brain, tries to think of something he could say now but he just can't find anything.  
No, there's no need for words now. There's something else they need right now.

Rafa places his hand – the one that doesn't rest on Marc's hip – in Marc's neck, he pulls him closer.  
This kiss is... It's not that different from the ones they shared before. It doesn't taste like relief, it doesn't taste like freedom. But it makes him feel relieved. Because even though his head isn't able to properly process all those words yet, their kiss is easier to translate.

Everything is alright. He got what he wanted.

They take quite some time kissing, stroking their cheeks, smiling at each other....  
Then it's time to speak again. This time, it's Rafa who takes the next step.

“I want to go on like that.”

Marc nods lightly. His words are rather skeptical, though.

“How can we do it?”

No, not skeptical – curious?

“I don't know exactly.”  
“Hey, you are the one who's super creative. After all, you invented the 'Dia do caralho'.”

He did it again. Marc made him laugh even though they're talking about something really serious right now.  
Damn, he really fell for this guy.

“We'll find a way.”

~*~*~


	14. namorado

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo we reached the final chapter... I hope you enjoyed the "dia do caralho"! ♥

**namorado**  
boyfriend

“Ey, Rafa!”

Rafa just wanted to leave the changing room when Ney called his name.  
Oh no. He looked at him all the time – Rafa knew he wanted to talk. Now it's the right time, apparently.  
He puts his bag down again, walks over to Ney. At the moment, they're alone in the changing room – the rest of the team either left or still takes a shower.

“So... 'O dia do caralho', eh?”

Ah, right. Marc told him he asked Neymar if this day actually existed. It seems like Neymar knows why he asked.

“It was the only way to calm his fears, okay?”

Rafa prepares himself for Neymar making fun of him. In vain, though. Even though Ney grins at him first, it turns into a smile soon.

“Did it work out?”

Well, did it? Rafa remembers their 'dia do caralho', the fun they had at the house, the important talks, the kisses, the sex...

“It did.”

There's no need to say more. Ney pats his shoulder – he clearly approves.  
Then he's back to his old self, just as if nothing happened.

“It's still a stupid idea, though.”


End file.
